Spoken & Unspoken Exchange Agreements: Who is getting your energy and why?

Some exchange agreements are laid out clearly, and many others are assumed. Are you clear about who gets your energy & why?

Some exchange agreements are laid out clearly, and many others are assumed.

At the end of a love relationship a few years ago, after I had moved in with this man thinking it was a long term agreement, and then six months later he gave my child and I the boot, we were in a counseling session.

I was speaking about the agreements that we’d had, and the counselor said to me one of the most illuminating things I’d ever heard. He said, “Sarah, were these agreements stated or written, or did you assume them?”

In fact, I had assumed them. Based on his character as I’d known it to be and his invitation to build a life together. But I had assumed that that had meant certain things about the exchange agreements.

Now, I’m not still heartbroken about that in the least, but I was reminded of this while walking and talking with a friend this morning about EXCHANGE AGREEMENTS specifically between men and women.

And I would apply this to the workplace as well.

When I took a job on a leadership team in a startup, I got a massive raise from my previous charter school job. And then I would receive texts when I was putting my child to bed, or after ten PM. When I decided that I would not be answering these texts because they were invasive, I caused some disruption. Nowhere was it written in my contract that I was obligated to answer leadership team texts at 10pm if I was not on call. The unspoken expectation was that I would answer because I’d gotten a good gig. Then it was as if they thought they owned my energy. 

They did not own my energy. No one owns my energy but me, even when there is an exchange agreement in place.

For hundreds of generations, the exchange dynamics between men and women were very skewed. A woman couldn’t own land or even have her own last name, and her food and housing security depended on her husband or her father, and she had to keep them happy. So she made certain decisions about her body, who she permitted access to her body, how she gave her energy, and how she specifically did not exert her energy or risk being “too much” in order to preserve her access to resources for her and her children.

Women still carry the TENDENCY to get wrapped up in unspoken, unwritten exchange agreements with men and employers, because we’re subconsciously still wired to expend our energy in order to not piss off the man or authority figure that has control over our resources. If an employer decides whether or not you get a paycheck, and that paycheck feeds your kids, then you will do things like turn down your opinion or answer the text after hours in order to ensure your security. 

This happens at every tier of employment, and women who have climbed ladders to achieve more are not immune to this. 

And I’ll go on record right now and say that I believe that this is the root cause of burnout. How we use our energy based on what we perceive the unspoken exchange agreements to be is making women more tired, more depleted, and wondering how in the world their quest for leadership did not land them with a life of actual fulfillment. 

Where is your energy going? Why? What is actually contracted, or agreed upon, and what isn’t? How is this happening both at work and with your spouse? 

When that personal relationship ended, I couldn’t understand why this man wouldn’t have been happy. Because I had tried to keep him happy. He was, after all, inviting my son and I into his house. I’m not too proud to admit it. Of course not. How could I recommend that we take an honest look at these dynamics if I’m not willing to own it myself? 

I did, eventually, piss off the employer with the edge that I was walking. I was getting too big for my britches, asking for equity in too many ways, and this was the last job I had before becoming a women’s coach and masculine feminine polarity consultant. 

My friend and I this morning talked about the insidious nature of the unspoken exchange agreements between men and women, between money and sex. Who gets access to your energy? Why? Are you trying to keep them happy? Are you happy in this behavior and in your agreements? 

Because I’m here to tell you, you are the only one that decides who gets access to your energy, when, and why. Every day, you get to define and redefine your agreements. You get to ask for that. You get to stop the habitual self sacrifice right now. 

Now wouldn’t that just be the end to burn out right there? 

If you’d like to discuss personal coaching about taking back your energy from unspoken agreements that are depleting your life, contact me by setting up a consultation at www.SarahPoet.com/book.

“Birthing Upward” – Energy dynamics of the creative process are changing.

Feminine & Masculine energetics in new paradigm business will not be top-down, rather, bottom-up.

*Esoteric in nature, you can read this post as an “energy update” and ask yourself how it applies to your creativity, your masculine/feminine relationships, and organizational structure in new-paradigm businesses.*

This week, in my meditations and client sessions, there has been a theme and a common vision – that of “Birthing upward.” 


As I tune into this further, this seems to have to do with the way in which we are now optimally creating on the planet, having to do with feminine now leading the masculine. 


You can envision this by feeling into the following visuals. 


We are accustomed to “birthing downwards” on this planet. The masculine would impart the seed (of consciousness or creation) into the feminine. HE would do the giving (first), that would go into her (second), and then the formation of the creation (ex a human embryo, a business, or any other creation coming into form) would occur (third).


This view could be inherently patriarchal because there is a “top down” assumption. The masculine would impart the seed, wisdom, power, authority, etc, and it would go downward through the process. This is also the energetic of old system hierarchies itself, with an assumed top-down leader, usually male, who makes the decisions for the many and essentially determines the creation. As we know, sadly, this method of authoritative masculine actually stifles true creativity. This is why we are seeing a lot of organizational structures now giving teams time to collaborate on new creations – time to derive the idea and spend in the mess of creativity is actually a feminine energetic resurging.


Now, I will attempt to share with you what I am seeing with “birthing upward.” Please keep in mind that ultimately, masculine and feminine unify as One, and yet, there are some energetics that are actively restructuring as our planetary energies realign and re-harmonize. So I am not saying that “women are taking over” or that the “feminine will win” or anything absurd and polarized like that. But I am noticing a very big “counter” energetic occurring to the polarized world as it has existed, with the masculine initiating the creative process and the formation of the creations.


I see “birthing upward” not as the only way it is ever meant to be, but that this is a “shifting in polarity” so to speak as the earth is in the process of re-harmonizing. So this is likely taking place in the earth grid structure as well as in our human bodies, psyches, relationships, business formations, organizational restructuring, etc. 


Birthing upward does not start with the masculine, rather, it starts with the womb. The womb of creation is the infinite space into which the masculine seed of consciousness can be magnetized. We have been preparing Her to actually become the leading energetic source of what will now be created. 

Many of us women have been doing a lot of clearing of trauma, dense energy, miasma, patriarchal exchange energetics, and womb hijackings. The feminine has been energetically advancing its sovereignty, in women’s bodies and in the earth grid. The womb energy of the collective is seemingly more clear than it has been in many thousands of years – potentially enough to cause this polarity shift, it would seem.


In a session with two men, a generation younger than myself, who are envisioning a collective and collaborative new business structure that is focused on community, I was intuitively guided to share with them this concept of “birthing upward.” I was also guided (as in, I was channeling & communicating from their soul business creation information to them) to have them tune into the “womb space” on their body first. They were pointed toward acknowledging the presence and intelligence of this energetic center in their own male bodies. This would be required for their new leadership.


There was to be no “top down” leadership, though healthy masculine structure and consciousness were welcome and necessary. But hierarchical power structures were old paradigm and unwelcome, which these young men already realize, but their questions for the session were about what the new structures for organizational development look and feel like. Leadership in a new paradigm of business is an interesting inquiry. Do we let it go and have just shared leadership? Do we not have leaders? Was masculine leadership always wrong?

I think the answer to all of those questions is “no.” Masculine clarity and decision making is necessary for running effective businesses, regardless of the gender expressing it. We also don’t need men to fear their own leadership – and we need more men to be very comfortable in their expressed masculinity and we should never shame men for their attempts at leadership (rather hone the intelligence of it). However, as these young men are realizing, we will be restructuring organizational teams and redefining leadership in the near future to meet the needs of the people and planet – and what I am seeing is that these new ways of “birthing upward” will also be more profitable.


I was guided to share with them that the “fertile soil” of building from the ground up, which included engaging, optimizing, and celebrating the enthusiasm of all participants in the formation of what the leadership would build would be the “birthing upward” approach for the success of their business formation. 


Widening the vision again now with etheric metaphor, the womb of all creation is the fertile ground, no longer into which we will plant the seeds, but now, the fertile ground of the cosmic womb of creation (the feminine) will determine which consciousness to attract to it (the seed), thereby activating the birth of certain (new) creations. 


The womb is now attracting the seed of its own choosing with a certain magnetism. The cosmic womb (deep, eternal feminine) is now calling to it the light of consciousness (deep, eternal masculine.) From there, and this is the most significant part, the structure is forming. The feminine is magnetizing the consciousness that will lead to new structures. The feminine is attracting the consciousness of its choosing.

The collective will attract its new leaders. The people will determine our next direction. The womb will attract the consciousness – this is “birthing upwards.”


Any person who is able to read and follow this does not see this as a “women flipping the power script” feminist agenda, rather, the delicate and powerful shift in polarity and honestly, an energetic directive, coming from the Holy Mother, and the Holy Father is ready and welcome to participate. The recalibration is in effect. 

If you are starting a new business based on a “soul calling” and would like to do a channeled session with the business entity itself, if you are looking at how to redesign leadership structures in your organization to make it more inclusive, or if you just feel the intuitive nudge – schedule a consultation with me at www.sarahpoet.com/book.

The days of the guru are over.

Sovereignty is the way of the future. We choose our next teacher or guide through felt-resonance and soul-guidance. Trust yourself.

“I don’t want to give my power away to a ‘teacher’ or ‘coach’ anymore.” 

“I don’t know if I need to take other people’s offerings anymore, because I have a lot of my own gifts.” 

We are in a time of massive transition. The time of giving away our power to ANYONE is OVER. 

These times are for SOVEREIGNTY. 

But I know that this can be confusing, and for me too. Because we want to be sovereign in our energy, not giving ourselves away anymore, and yet, we also want human connection. We want to learn and grow with one another. 

We are moving into a paradigm of deep connectedness where each person is sovereign. 

I don’t have this all figured out yet, but I’ll share a few of my ethics with you. 

  • When women step into a space I hold or offering such as Heartland, each woman is sovereign. 
  • I never “manipulate” or “heal” another’s energy. I (the ego “I”) don’t heal you, but the space I hold does. We open sacred, sovereign space in the Unified Field and set the intentions that the highest healing miracles take place, and from this space, each woman’s own Soul further connects with her body. While we do it together, each woman’s process is her own. I will not deny that it is extremely powerful, but I admit that humbly. 

  • Each of us does have something to offer, and I am offering you a deep transmission that I have lived. I see it as Heartland “came to me.” It was given to me, and it tells me when to share it. Therefore, it is a soul activation – for each of us in our own way. This is why I’ve been saying “You will feel it.” That is your own soul literally calling you. We need to learn to trust our own souls and I’m here to encourage that. 

  • I started working as a teacher at age 22. I thought that I had to have all the answers for kids that were just a few years younger than me. Through a career in education and a deep soul journey with this thing I steward called a business, Embodied Breath, I know that the old model that sees the student as inferior and the teacher as the only expert is a completely false narrative. (I have way more to say on that.) 

  • I do know that when we have lived through things and also studied them, that some of us do become teachers and space holders and that is okay and good. It is our responsibility to interact with each client or person that comes into that space in a completely sovereign way and with integrity. If you feel your power is being taken, then the teacher doesn’t understand this (or you are projecting onto that teacher.) 

  • In the new paradigm, we trust resonance. Some teachers will be our teachers for a few months, others a few years, others a few minutes. You must trust the resonance that you yourself feel and ask, “What’s here for me?” When you make a decision about what “should” be right for you when there is not resonance, you often actually take yourself off track. (Common example – hiring a “6 figure coach!!” and then realizing that wasn’t your soul that did that.) Wink. 

  • I personally step into other peoples’ healing space and containers when I feel that their particular medicine is what I need at that moment. I don’t know exactly what will happen in the space, but I move with the resonance. I also know that I trust me and my process, and Source, first. Therefore ONLY the highest and best will come out of the sessions, no matter what the other person does. I am activating my own soul by stepping into their spaces. 

  • Ethics re: value exchange – phew, there’s a lot to this one. What I can tell you is that I have soul searched around this topic and continue to do so so that my value exchanges are in the highest integrity that I have in any given moment. If I were independently wealthy and didn’t need income, would I offer my transmissions for free? Probably. But my soul didn’t choose that path. It chose one where I am this kind of soul searcher turned teacher and I do make my living in this way. So again, my aim is integrity. 

  • I don’t want to be your guru. I don’t want to have a guru. I want us all to have our SOVEREIGN GOD-SOURCE CONNECTION and my work serves THAT intention. In fact, Heartland is completely about returning to your own Source Connection and rebuilding your architectural light body so that you are more energetically sovereign and inherently prosperous. 

  • We need each other. WE NEED EACH OTHER. We don’t have to be so fiercely independent and have it all together such that we don’t need one anothers’ magic. We move together and weave and step up with our wisdom at times and at others times we receive others’ wisdom, and this is non-threatening and beautiful. 

So those are some thoughts. You are not losing yourself in Heartland, my dear one. You are gaining more of YOU. 

In love, 
​​​​​​​Sarah Poet 

HEARTLAND 2022 begins 4/28/22. Join today if it is in resonance with you.

THREE ORGANIZATIONAL VALUES THAT HELP MITIGATE GENDER BIAS

Gender Equity does not have to be a scary topic. It does not have to be a finger-pointing topic. We all have bias and we all have something to gain when we get curious and vulnerable about one another’s experiences.

Post originally published in Equity Over Everything Magazine Oct 2021

Have you ever been in that awkward work situation at work where you thought, “This has more to do with gender than anyone here is willing to admit!?” You may be unsure how to bring up the issues you see, exactly what to say, or what will happen if you do speak up.

If so, you’re not alone.

We are in a post-#metoo era, with trans and non-binary identities on the rise, and issue of gender is only sure to get more interesting in the coming years. Organizations will need to innovate their value and skill sets in order to meet what is coming.

Whether or not women earn equal pay is no longer the extent of gender equity conversation. In my opinion, we need to talk about the complex pressures and stereotypes put on men just as much as we need to talk about women’s rights.

All people need safe spaces to voice concerns and have innovative conversations without the fear of losing their job for speaking out. HR is often the place where gender equity concerns get funneled, and often attempts to mitigate risk and avoid sexual harassment claims end badly.

I actually had this happen, personally. I took a legitimate concern to HR and it was handled very poorly.

As the only female member of a leadership team, women in the organization were coming to me to express their sense that there was gender bias against women. I had also experienced strange events such as when I was publicly shamed and made to apologize to a male employee. While the company handbook never would have condoned outright bias, women, myself included, were noticing some evidence of bias.

I decided to address the issues so that we could improve the organization. When I formally brought these concerns forward, there was never a direct conversation. I was funneled quickly to HR, offered a severance package, and asked not to speak to anyone.

It was scary for me, and years later, I see now that it was very scary for the organization as well. Well-intended people were afraid, and they chose to get me out the door instead of having an authentic and vulnerable conversation. As Brené Brown says in Dare To Lead, they didn’t know how to “rumble with vulnerability.”

Unfortunately, I don’t believe my situation is unique. I heard of another example just last week. I share here in order to highlight the need for a different way, beyond the standard, non-relational HR attempts at mitigating employee concern as liability. Such concerns are actually an invitation for an organization to evolve and meet the changing and diverse needs of these times.

I am passionate about innovative leadership. In a changing world, the most innovative leaders will not exhibit a need to have it all figured out. Rather, they will bring vulnerability, right action, and curiosity to their organizations, leading by example.

VULNERABILITY: In a post #metoo era, the need for vulnerability is greater than ever. If we maintain that everyone must already know all of the answers, there is simply no way to improve. We must be able to admit what we do not know, what we do not understand, where our mistrust gets triggered, and where we do not feel able to speak up. We must create cultures that model the ethic of healthy vulnerability from top levels of leadership.

RIGHT ACTION: The most innovative leaders will hear from the people in their organizations, and take action based on what is good for the whole. I am in no way advocating that workplaces decrease productivity by focusing on emotional processes. But leaders who are willing to get real with their employees will ask for real feedback to affect needed change through effective right action, improving employee relations and organizational health.

CURIOSITY: I worked at a charter school that championed character development, and one of the primary teachings was of “curiosity and courage.” These two go hand in hand. Let’s be willing to get curious about others’ experiences – men, women, & non-binary – so that we can lead with the courage to be compassionate and relatable.

Gender Equity does not have to be a scary topic. It does not have to be a finger-pointing topic. We all have bias and we all have something to gain when we get curious and vulnerable about one another’s experiences. I believe that we can safely learn about the experiences of others and to create safe and optimal workplace environments for all.

Sarah Poet, M.Ed is a thought leader in gender equity, feminine & masculine leadership, and authentic relationships. She offers mediation and leadership training services to organizations looking to innovate gender equity practices. You can learn more and contact her at www.sarahpoet.com/reconciliation.

To expand, first stabilize.

As I type this, I just removed a social media post that I originally thought was casual but really offended some people, which was not my intention and I found to be stressful. I was sorry that I’d caused others stress. I have a to-do list that I’d hoped to get through today but won’t. I’m tired and have a few hours of meetings left today. 

So instead of cramming all that out, before the next meeting, I brought my laptop to bed with some quiet music playing in the background, which pleases my nervous system very much, and decided to write on this topic that continues to arise for me lately, like a little whisper that comes into my ear at moments when I feel things spinning just slightly out of equilibrium. 

“Stabilize.” 

Stabilize the breath. Stabilize the moment. 

I’ve honestly been expanding quite a bit lately. I realize looking back that 2021 was a year where I chose more quiet, more family, fewer big choices. I had focus words during last year that included “resourced” and “sustainable,” because I’d really been looking so very closely at this thing of the depletion of feminine energy in my life that continued to sneak up on me just when I thought I’d figured it out. 

And as I said in a client call this morning, while talking about these anchoring words that hold our intentions for how we want to feel, what we intend to create, I feel I did experience “resourced” and “sustainable” energy last year in a beautiful way. And then, at the very end of the year, a friend gently called me out and told me it was time to expand. 

I had been worried about being out of integrity, charging too much for a program offering, trying to figure out how to offer lower pricing and still get paid what I needed to get paid, and he told me that I was playing small and afraid to charge what the offering was actually worth. I respect his reflection, and so I looked at it and began to listen to the audiobook suggestions he gave me, and long analysis short – he was right. I had become “resourced” and “sustained” but I now needed to expand, and expand what I am wiling to receive. (Read – the *goodness* I am willing to receive!) 

I like my family. I like my little life of structure & flow in daily entrepreneurship, I like my clients very much, I like walking my puppy and being a mother to my son. I like it. And 2021 was about recalibration. But now it is time to expand, and I’m ready. Expand the things I am willing to say (even if not everyone gets it or I do challenge some opinions), the number of people I reach, the impact I can have with my time on the planet. It’s time to expand what ceilings I assumed are over my head, expand my monthly minimum of what I’m willing to accept in my income (I learned this from the audiobook – it’s called an “energetic minimum” and this concept is awesome for me at this time), and expand my capacity to love more and more deeply. 

And it’s time for me to receive more, as a result of the expansion. 

This is inevitable, IF, and only if, I also “stabilize.” 

Many times, when coaching a client, I’ve talked about this rubber band effect in personal growth. We’re growing, and that’s like stretching a rubber band, but if you don’t stabilize, that rubber band will snap back into place. 

If we want a new normal, a new normal that is a growth edge for us, we have to stabilize when we stretch. 

Many times, I’ve gone after growth, but it wasn’t regulated into my nervous system by the time I quickly did the next thing, or got the next negative reaction, or experienced failure, and then *snap* – back to the start. 

The expansion can only actually happen if stabilized, and stabilized into the nervous system as well. To take more action on top of anxiousness or worry is absolutely destabilizing. We are working against ourselves in this sense. 

So, in this moment, I am stabilizing instead of thinking I just need to zoom to the next thing on the list. I’m writing, something that is to me like creating art, and I’m doing that to stabilize the moment. I’m not completely inactive, and sometimes I might just actually meditate or take a nap. What stabilizes us will not always be the same, from moment to moment or person to person. 

I regularly do an exercise called “The Class,” and in it you move your body quickly, activating a cardio response. And then, at the end of the song and the movement, they say “Hand on body, hand on chest,” and say to breathe and notice. This is stabilization in action. 

That is exactly one energetic example of what I’ve been working with regarding expansion – actually moving my body in a way that I break an energetic norm and cross a threshold into the new. Maybe I lift more weight for longer than I did the day before, or hold the breath in kundalini yoga for longer, or jump harder while doing The Class. And then I witness – “Ah, I can expand, and then I can stabilize.” 

When I’m working and creating, and I have bigger goals (which I do), I don’t get them done in anxiousness. I get them done in stability. 

When I’m parenting or training a puppy, I don’t get it done by being quick, short, or demanding. I do it by stabilizing the energy in our surroundings. 

When I’m working with clients, I’m stabilizing the space. That’s my job. 

Before, when I was writing, it was like they were all flying around at once and it was hard to see one piece of writing through. I now organize my ideas by first purposefully stabilizing.

Stabilize the moving parts. Stabilize the breath and the nervous system. This is how you increase your capacity – not by rushing, forcing, or multitasking. 

Energetically, we can become used to a certain capacity, like I did in 2021. Like we all do. And that capacity might even be working okay for us. But it might also be an excuse not to grow, and not to receive more of what we actually really want. 

I’m ready to expand. I’m ready to receive more, and in a way that the stretch doesn’t have to snap back. 

Are you? 

If you’d like to “Breathe to Receive” with me, that is the name of my next offering, coming mid January. In every way, we will stabilize through the breath to increase your capacity to receive. Ensure that you are on my mailing list at SarahPoet . com and check your emails for sign up information. 

Here’s to an expansive, and stable, 2022.

Staying Home to Come Home: Women in the Pandemic

I heard that from many women during quarantine – the realization that what modern life expected of them no longer felt sustainable. 

What happened when you stayed home during quarantine? I’ll hear whatever story of change you want to tell, but what I really want to know is what happened on the inside of you? 

As I write this, we got the “stay home” order in North Carolina almost exactly three months ago. And, now, even though the cases of Coronavirus are greater than they were three months ago, the “stay home” orders are now increasingly lifted for economic reasons. There is a push for things to go back to normal, and yet, I hope we don’t miss the available lessons. 

How did this quarantine and all that it exposed change you? And is it still? 

For a little context, I’m the mother of an 11 year old son who lives between two houses, and I’ve worked from home via the internet as a life coach, distance healer, and women’s & relationship coach for over two years. So the format of my work was not affected when this hit, and actually, I was prepared for it because I’d already been through the highs and lows of such deep transition and could now assist others. And, I was able to actually spend more time with my child, which exposed quite a bit.

While I won’t bore you with the small accounts of what happened during quarantine, I will say that all of the things that were not working in our busy day to day life immediately became apparent when we stayed home. Discrepancies in parenting between households and the way our child had grown emotionally avoidant in fifth grade came to the surface to be revealed. We looked at it, and within two weeks, we had a new schedule and a new family therapist. I’m so grateful for that, because it’s made a huge positive impact on our child, and we otherwise would have missed it, had life just kept on. 

Then, in April, a baby goat was born on the farm we lived on, and I thought, “Good grief I’m so glad he’s not in school right now.” Because when we heard the mama goat yell out in labor, he was able to run and get to the pen in enough time to watch the baby goat land in the hay. He got to help name it Pixie. 

In case I need to spell it out, this was incredibly special. We’d moved out of the city a few months prior, and now, the choice to have done so grew even sweeter. My boy was watching the birth and early rearing of a mammal, learning about the placenta and birth, watching the milk come in and holding Pixie in his arms at 10pm in front of the mama goat’s nose while the farmer worked to prevent mastitis from setting in. My son had a place in things that was different as a result of staying home.

So I became “that mom” when I emailed the school – the school where I was formerly the middle grades principal – and I said, “Now that we know North Carolina isn’t counting grades this year, and my son is building forts while learning about measurement & cooperation, planting gardens, and is deeply engaged in the life of a new baby goat, I’m going to advocate that we all relax with the piles of computer work.” On Earth Day, when there was homework to research something online, I intervened and simply submitted a picture of him and Pixie the goat instead of evidence of a closer relationship with the Earth.

Real life again mattered more than assignments or schedules. And I was witnessing that my child was touching childhood in a way that he would not have if not for this pause. And as I looked around at the women’s groups that I was hosting, each woman was touching life in a new way as well. 

We were touching life. Eventually. Because each life went through an adjustment period in quarantine, as you know. Uncomfortable at first, and then, there was more life.

I was facilitating two women’s groups online – one a six-month Mastermind that had begun mid January 2020, and another a group called Choosing Nourishment that came together right at the beginning of quarantine when I noticed that women, even though they were already tired and juggling quite a bit in their lives, jobs, and households, and you may have thought that quarantine would provide reprieve, were actually quite frazzled in their nervous systems as a result of the changes. 

“You want me to stay home, work from my computer, and homeschool my kids?” 

“You want me to stay in the house with this husband of mine that is unwilling to actively help us figure out our finances?” 

“You want me to stay in the house with the man who doesn’t care at all what my opinion is and makes me feel invisible?” 

The panic was up. The nervous systems alert. This did not feel like a good idea to stay home. In fact, to some, I noticed that it felt really scary. Like modern life had been some sort of very busy distraction, and even though it wasn’t necessarily working or feeling good, nor particularly fun, it was the norm, and they’d learned how to manage it. This was the same reason I’d left working in schools to start my own business two years ago – modern life just wasn’t sustainable any more.

I heard that from many women during quarantine – the realization that what modern life expected of them no longer felt sustainable. 

As time passed, and as we held the space in confidence and safe space in these women’s groups to talk about how to choose the nourishment, how to be in communion with this opportunity to push pause, I noticed that all of the women began to care less about whether or not things like the homeschooling got done, and cared more about feeling good, re-connecting with their families, and listening to their authentic inner voices. 

Feeling good matters. Knowing oneself matters. Being able to sit and breathe in a body with a settled nervous system matters. And modern life makes these things “self-care” periphery practices instead of, well, the norm. But in quarantine, more women began to prioritize a rebalancing that they’d previously only dreamed of. 

Priorities shifted. Preferences stated more clearly. Boundaries realized. 

And then, about six weeks into quarantine, in the Mastermind that is all about the quest for the Sacred Truth within each woman, after months of clearing old stories and identities, a “Coming Home” theme emerged. 

And I chuckled as I said, “Hmm, staying home to come home.” 

And everywhere I looked to see what women were doing, in these groups and in the collective of women, I kept hearing women say: 

“Maybe it doesn’t have to go back to the way it was.” 

“That was never sustainable and we knew it all along.” 

“I don’t even want to go back to work. I never want to feel like that again.”

“Maybe I won’t send my child back to school next year.” “Maybe it’s time to finally own my skills as a healer.” 

“Maybe it’s time to start the business I really want to start.” 

It was mandated that we all stay home. Yet, it was rather unsuspected how we discovered that so many women, would, also, come home to themselves. And I love witnessing it. It feels like only a beginning to what has been such a long time coming. 

Women remembering who they are. 

Women coming home to the truth of who they are. 

Women, refusing to live unsustainable lives. 

Women, planting gardens and knowing rest for the first time in years. 

Women, making plans for what they might create next. 

I truly hope that we don’t go back to life as usual, that this actually changed us in the way it had the potential to change us. Because through a wider lens, this is how the feminine rebalances with the masculine, a story I told of my own life in my TEDx from last year. So much happens when women come home to themselves. 

Worlds open.

The feminine principle, the archetype – which involves rest and bodies and satisfaction and families first – was touched through this quarantine experience. I’d say it was awakened, in many women. 

How did this change you? What are you willing to go back to and unwilling to go back to? What will you do differently? 

I chose to integrate family and home life with my partner, moving in together during quarantine. I chose to begin to walk in nature daily, even though I’d lived in nature before and yet failed to prioritize it. I chose to begin organizing a potential home-school cooperative for the fall with the same children that my child was able to play and bond with during the spring. 

I’m beginning to dream of new systems of education and women’s entrepreneurial collaboration that before seemed so far off, and now, it feels like the time to choose based on deeper preference and intuitive knowing. 

I found myself choosing to relax and read fiction, to sleep in, to start a new yoga practice. 

I chose to come further home, and I choose it still. 

And I’ll ask you, women, did you come home? And I’ll encourage you. Come home to the truth of who you are. Don’t go back to an unsustainable status quo. If you allowed yourself to dream, what would you create? 

If this article speaks to you, let’s work together.