Reclaiming Feminine Nourishment: Soul Medicine & Healing the Mother Wound

That’s when I saw a large replica of my womb and stomach like a chamber, and it was stuffed with hardened sticks, logs, pieces of furniture, tables and chairs. It was like an uncomfortable nest. Who knows how long it had been sitting there – these things I’d taken in that had never nourished me at all. How could they? 

One of my two cats will choose love and touch over food. She was feral as a kitten and she’s learned to trust my hands. As I dish out the high quality cat food and sit it in front of her, she’ll follow my hands if I walk away. She’ll opt for touch over food. So I stand beside her so she can eat without alarm. 

A fetus or gestating mammal in utero can sense the mood of the mother, and reacts to it from the time it’s just a few-celled zygote. If the mother has any kind of barrier – like stress, or fear about there being enough resources, or doubts about wanting an unplanned pregnancy – the fetus feels it and this creates what’s called a “nourishment barrier” that the living thing will likely take with them throughout their lives. 

It’s like that strange feeling that you weren’t wanted as much as your siblings, or you somehow caused your mother’s stress but you can’t find any earthly reason for it. 

Recently, I left an appointment and found a voicemail from my best friend in college, who I hadn’t talked to in a few years. I realized how deeply I missed her, and a few other relationships that I hadn’t nurtured, and then that in perfect combination with the effects of the appointment, I went home and had a three hour psycho-somatic integration period, like I was remembering something profound. 

That “something” seemed to be nurturance.  

I reached out to these friends and said things like, “I’m sorry, when my life became difficult, I self-isolated. I miss you. I love you. Let’s connect.”

My therapist calls this “reaching.” People with nourishment barriers have a hard time “reaching” for what we want or need.  We act like we’ve got it all under control. We go without. We ignore the alarms as they sound. 

There’s an end of the road to that, I imagine, whether forced or chosen. 

I sort of cracked open two days later at a fire circle, speaking about this inherited tendency that my mother had modeled for me to always appear strong and independent, to resist asking for help. As I spoke this, my body started to leak tears, my voice caught, and I began to quiver a bit – sure signs of loss of control – and I let it happen as I said I was opting now for nourishment and connection. Again, I reached. 

In response, the elder Grandmother of the circle asked me if I’d lay down on my back beside the fire. Always up for a soul experience, I said of course I’d do this. 

She asked one man to drum and a woman to sing and she began putting her hands on my face. The way she moved her hands let me know she could feel the tension that I hold on the left side of my face and body. 

She invited other women to touch and nourish me, and soon everyone in the circle was signing and I was crying, aware that it was one of the most beautiful things to have ever happened to me, yet I couldn’t fully integrate it in that moment. I tried to take in the touch, especially, as it was so generous and I didn’t realize how much I needed it. She asked me to flip from my back to my stomach, and I was aware of the closeness of my belly to the Earth. 

Recently I did a “regression” journey back to the womb of my mother, as I wondered what it felt like to be in her womb, given the magnitude of nourishment barrier I have carried. As a child, I wasn’t nurtured very much at all – I don’t remember being held or comforted when I was upset. I wasn’t allowed to ask for things I wanted. I got the sense I annoyed her very much. As a little one, I stopped “reaching” early on. When I regressed into the womb in meditation, it felt like something akin to fire in the cells and neurons. Something like chemical poisoning and I couldn’t escape the heat. 

Lately I’ve been closely tracking what my body wants as nourishment – for food, for rest, for comfort. It wants to play with clay, to eat warm squash soup and fall foods, to dance to my “eros” playlist, to journal much more than usual, to find no problem in anything. 

When I try to come up, to find reason, to reengage and make something new happen, she pulls me back down and in. 

I’m aware that if I don’t do this now, there is no other time.

About a week after the fire circle, I woke at dawn deeply tucked into the layers of my bed on a chilly fall morning. 

The Inner Earth Grandmothers of the Heartland reached out to me. I said in connection and gratitude, as I always do, “I Am Here.” 

They invited me into their council chamber. They invited me to lay down, with my head in a lap, similar to what happened beside the fire. 

First they told me to lay on my back. They asked me to pair with the frequency of the inside of their Earthly chamber. My breathing slowed as I matched what they were offering. 

They encouraged me to roll over onto my stomach and press my belly onto the Earth, again the same thing that had happened next to the fire. 

That’s when I saw a large replica of my womb and stomach like a chamber, and it was stuffed with hardened sticks, logs, pieces of furniture, tables and chairs. It was like an uncomfortable nest that had been swallowed and undigested into this space. Who knows how long it had been sitting there – these things I’d taken in that had never nourished me at all. How could they? 

Things to fill a space that I couldn’t absorb for nourishment. 

The Grandmothers and I removed each piece, one by one, until my internal chamber was just Earth again. And then the biome properly reestablished itself as Earth and dirt into this space once again. 

After that I could breathe more deeply. 

As I began to stir, the cats knew that meant it was time for their breakfast. And so I went and stood beside the cat, so she could eat in peace, and know that she is not alone.

**You are also not alone. We need one another on our journeys of reclamation and soul. Reach out for 1:1 support and multidimensional healing today.

Returning to the thriving nature of the feminine.

This is where we collectively (in our “empowerment”) point to men as the “takers,” and while there is certainly plenty of evidence that men can act as takers, if we don’t fully understand the feminine principle, and there is a planet-wide reversal, then why do angry women expect men to fully understand how to heal this reversal and deliver it to women? That’s a little strange, don’t you think?

There is a force at play on the feminine principle on this planet that is inherently consumptive.

When I say “the feminine principle,” I mean the feminine in all things – woman, man, earth, children, animals… everything. Another way to say it would be “feminine energy.”

I think back to my father as a child. I was the oldest of three daughters and while we experienced a lot of provision and effort from my father, it was apparent to me in a felt-sense that he deeply hated the feminine.

There is a simultaneous longing for what is feminine, and also a willingness to consume or destroy it.

Isn’t that fascinating?

That’s called a “reversal.”

And we have a planet-wide reversal of what “feminine” or “mother” represents.

And so every woman, if she’s honest and if she’s able to slow down for a moment, can likely feel a sense of fear somewhere in her gut that is pervasive.

Consistent.

This is the fear of being consumed. The fear of the feminine principle in you being consumed.

By what?

Great question.

This is where we collectively (in our “empowerment”) point to men as the “takers,” and while there is certainly plenty of evidence that men can act as takers, if we don’t fully understand the feminine principle, and there is a planet-wide reversal, then why do angry women expect men to fully understand how to heal this reversal and deliver it to women? That’s a little strange, don’t you think?

I think it would start at home – in us. In my remembering and action as a woman, I can heal my participation in any reversal of feminine consumptive patterning.

So I had a life-long fear that I traced to my father, because in his hatred and also his alter-ego darkness, there was plenty for me to fear as a child and young woman about being consumed, being taken from, being manipulated and brainwashed. The fear ran really, really deep.

But my mother was also super instrumental in forcing me to place my child for adoption, she denied her own daughter’s reports of abuse, and she would spend money on making things look good, but to my memory never expressed true generosity with money when I was in need.

These are examples of pretty severe reversal patterns – from both genders. From both mother and father. So the reversals are not just perpetuated by men.

Also you can sense in my examples that both had to do with my body, my children, my creation/sexual energy, and also my resources. *All of the above are affected by the consumptive patterning at play on the feminine.

When women want to stop incessantly consuming, stop keeping up with societal pressures, when we want to just “quit” the ridiculousness of always spinning our wheels and feeling exhausted, what we are really wanting to do is to heal the feminine principle in our lives.

We want to heal the fear of not having enough, the constant fear of being taken from, and we want to live in peace. We want things to be naturally abundant. We get this crazy notion that we may even be able to thrive! 😉

What we want is to heal the reversal currents.

How we do this is to return to our organic nature. We literally create a new energy pattern in our lives.

One way to think about this is to think, “In what ways am I behaving because society / family told me to, and in what ways do I naturally intuit I want to use my energy?” Then do that. What you intuit is most likely coming from your organic nature.

It is through us that these patterns correct. It’s not something that society will do for us, because why would it? The current structures of power certainly benefit from feminine exhaustion, so I don’t presume the change would come from outside. It comes from within, from our direct remembrance of what is good, right, fair, and just and then living in accordance with that.

Truth be told, there are vast energetic networks that have kept the feminine energy, or feminine principle, both entrapped and available for consumption for a long, long time. It’s worked out for some – like my parents – who played the games as they were laid out, who amassed wealth, and who are willing to sacrifice children, love, and decency in order to maintain that wealth. It has not worked out for others, and for many of us, we are not choosing it.

I do not choose for my feminine principle to be continually exhausted in a reversal/inverted pattern that is a net-deficit game on my life force.

I do not choose for my feminine principle to be consumed.

And I do not choose it for this beautiful planet or the children coming into it.

Do you?

In Heartland, we examine this truth of feminine consumption – both how the patterns play out on women, and also how we participate. When we have this information, we can begin the process of extricating ourselves from reversal currents and instead become a part of becoming what I call the “regenerative feminine” on the planet.

The “other” dominator.

What is that invisible force that takes and depletes feminine life force? When it comes through men, it can be a dominator masculine, or something else, a bit harder to detect but familiar nonetheless.

We are in a time of trying to figure out what healthy feminine and masculine energies look like, what dominator culture is and is not, and how to heal the rift between men and women. 

Well, at least I hope we’re trying to heal. I do believe that we can absolutely rehabilitate and heal  our human family and the spaces between men and women, and by writing things so plainly as I am here, my intention is to provide understanding in order to provide pathways for healing.

Many women, as we wake up to “patriarchy” having taken something from us, in turn have adverse reactions toward men and masculine. 

Are men patriarchal? 

Are men dominators? 

Is masculinity synonymous with patriarchy? 

Is masculinity and “domination” the same thing? 

And so on. 

I think it’s important to consciously pull apart our assumptions about all of the above. 

“Man” is not “dominator”

In this post, I am not going to thoroughly go through what “man” and “masculine” are, as I do that elsewhere and it’s not the exact point of today’s post. The point of this post is to say that while we are aware of “dominator culture,” there is another force that I’m not seeing anyone really talk about, which is taking from the feminine just as much (if not more?) than domination. 

I will say that there are most certainly “conscious” and “unconscious” aspects of “masculine” as an archetype, as well as “masculinity” as an expression of the masculine archetype. Today’s masculinity does not truly represent conscious expression of the masculine archetype, something that culture would be very well served to investigate. 

When I refer to “masculine” I am referring to the archetypal masculine, not the existing cultural expression of masculinity. 

When we think of “masculinity” as the cultural expression, that is where we start to get confused about whether masculinity is synonymous with “domination” or dominator culture. 

Men and unconscious masculine archetypal expression have been used as pawns in a dominator culture, but this is not one and the same with the potential or archetypal expression of the conscious masculine, or conscious masculinity. 

Domination is a power play, it directly takes energy, and is a negative force. Many men over time have acted out domination over women, but that does not make all men dominators. Many men are specifically trying very hard not to be dominators. 

The “other” dominator.

Many men are even attempting to step away from cultural associations with “masculinity” because of the association with “domination.” For example, a man may decide to never show any rise in emotion or anger for fear that he may appear to someone as dominating. In this way, when a man cuts himself off from the full scope of his expression, he also is not embracing a fully conscious masculine archetype. Because in this example, a conscious masculine would seek appropriate outlets for big energy to move, such as swinging an ax in the woods and building something, working out really hard, or going to a men’s circle where full expression is safe. So we don’t want to cut off healthy expressions of masculine energy for fear of slipping into domination. 

Thanks, men, for trying to avoid domination. But I’ve got to tell you, there is something nearly just as bad that is happening all the time

This prolific element that I have noticed in our culture, especially in men trying hard not to be dominators, is when shadow-masculine becomes a “siphoning force” rather than a “dominating force.” 

I see this in these same men who have denounced domination, yet still are lost as to what a healthy relationship with the feminine looks like, and they are looking to satiate their feminine longing, as well as prove their softness, as well as (unconsciously) seek feminine nurturance via a woman. 

Siphoning forces are nearly as bad as dominator forces. They are prolific, they deplete women, and they are sometimes harder to name. 

Hence, I’m naming it. 

Siphoning forces play out in some of the following behaviors from men: 

  • A man wants to have sex with a woman without fully committing to her.
  • Polyamory and other excuses for men to have sex with multiple women. 
  • Men seeking to prove their self worth by being “good.” In this case he is trying so hard to not be a dominator that he is weakening his masculinity and looking for reassurance that he is good.
  • A man who deeply seeks the love of Mother and looks for it in partners. (See resources for the Mother Wound here.)
  • Men with unresolved wounds from ex spouses, mothers of their children, or their own mother who want to, again, prove they are good and have that proven from their current partners.
  • Men who are unable to structure a relationship with a woman and want to come in and out of her life, home, and body. 
  • Men who are saying, “Look, I’m providing, now please give me what I want.” 
  • Men who are performing for her love, attention, sex. 

In each of these examples (or variations of them you can relate to), there is an invisible siphoning force. In every one of the examples, what the man is unconsciously trying to “get to” is deep feminine energy, or Mothering energy, or said differently, The Mother. As in, a deep unconscious longing for a relationship with the Eternal Mother or Divine Feminine. 

The what? 

Exactly. The very fact that we don’t really have a cultural place or words for this within “patriarchy” is a huge contributing factor to the problem. We don’t even know what we’re missing. 

Women can’t explain why they’re tired after sex or why they just aren’t turned on by their nice-guy husband – it’s because relating to him is actually leaking life force. 

Nearly every woman (and man) can tell you the experience of a man needing her to “mother him” and how off-putting that eventually becomes. The impact of a man seeking this energy via a woman is a net loss in her life force. 

Why? Because he is taking something invisible. That’s why I’m using the word “siphoning.” 

Moving beyond unintentional feminine siphoning.

So what does it look like when a consciously masculine MAN moves beyond this? When a man is NOT siphoning off her feminine life force and essence, what does that look like? 

This is the good part.

  • When he enters her body, he is doing it in service to her. 
  • He has a sense of his God-connection. When he enters her body or her life, he is in service to bringing that God-consciousness to her. 
  • He is aware that when he shows up in this way, he amplifies the feminine. He actually receives MORE feminine essence, not via siphoning, but via enjoyment, getting to bask in her expression, getting to experience the fullness of the true feminine essence. 
  • He is aware that it is via his Source/God connection and expression that the feminine is able to create more life. So he is in service to feminine creation. 
  • He is aware that when he “seeds” a woman – with an idea, with his attention, with his sperm – that he is bringing forward a God-force into her. Therefore he does it with his heart’s intention, his consciousness, and his full responsibility. 
  • He is in full service to the feminine. He is not a doormat. He is in right-relationship with the feminine aspect of God/Creation and he serves that. He knows that he is a human vessel in service to Creation via the feminine on earth. More than just trying to avoid being a dominator himself, he actually works to serve the rehabilitation of the feminine on the planet in a post-dominator society. 
  • He is aware of all of these things whether or not he is actively in relationship, as a leader, as a member of society – all the time. 

This is a deep inner journey for men and requires men to go beyond just denouncing patriarchal domination and other “nice guy” strategies. The “nice guy” can actually be quite dangerous to the feminine and to women in his docile nature that does not enable him to actually run the frequency of Masculine Consciousness through himself, therefore further depleting the feminine on the planet. 

As a starter, men, imagine the force of the Sun coursing through you. Imagine that YOU ARE light, and that this light is consciousness itself. Then ask yourself what this Consciousness would be in service to. Why does the light or the sun shine, warm, and radiate light on the planet? In order to seed Life, of course. 

That is what you are. Thank you for your continued dedication to your journey of embodied masculinity and rightful partnership with the conscious feminine on the planet. 

Private coaching is available for men & couples as well as women. It is my honor to be of service as we all heal patterns of separation and live in more love!

For women, transactions-first models feel gross.

We are modern women, waking up to the truth of who we are, and standing in that truth. We are formulating businesses, offerings and strategies, according to the full truth of who we are. We are choosing where to spend our money based on how we feel, who we know personally, and what ethos we want to support.

For women, sales are not first.


I think more and more, women are keen to know when a situation is transactional, and we’re opting out of it.

A few years ago I joined a women’s community where the premise was everyone was featuring their offers, but it really in practice reduced to everyone selling to one another. Or trying to. I never sold anything. Not because my work isn’t valuable or applicable to the women there – it could have been really useful – but I think it was because everyone felt “sold to” when maybe what we wanted was connection first.

Over many years now of what I’ll call spiritual entrepreneurship, I have worked with coaches whose models I no longer agree with ethically, and I’ve watched as female entrepreneurs first emulate and then try to adapt and improve current models.

I’ve also watched women’s circles that are like pyramid schemes and rely on overly-feminine processes and don’t effectively help women creators to launch and be prosperous.

As women creators who are bringing deep wisdom through based on life experiences, training, spiritual evolution and consciousness, we’ve got great offers, but how to get them to really fly? Sales gets tiring, but more than that, it often just doesn’t feel aligned to the authentic nature of what we’re trying to bring forward.

To be a solo-entrepreneur really requires one to constantly sell themselves, which isn’t the point, because we’re trying to sell an offer that improves someone’s lives but we’re a one-woman show, so it looks like we’re trying to sell us.

Which feels gross by the time we really experience it. Maybe more so depending on the level of ethics one chooses to utilize.

So, integrating experience with intuition, I’m going to offer a new way.

A new community model formulated on relationships first, but with the intent that every single woman in the space thrive financially and experience prosperity in all areas of her life.

And, it’s a community that fosters women’s unique gifts and talents, allowing her to experience prosperity in alignment with her true calling and essence.

This community is based on the premise that women can be exactly who they are, develop their ideas into financially viable offerings, and be celebrated and experience prosperity along the way. This is the Sacred Remembering Community.

Over the next 5 to 10 years, I want to see this grow into an entirely new model for women’s success. Since apparently the Barbie Movie just made it acceptable for us to now say “patriarchy” publicly without cringe, I’ll say it is an alternative or antidote model to patriarchy. (I said patriarchy in 2019 in my TEDx, which TED just so happened to not want to publish… so I’m glad we’re moving forward.)

I’m coming up on two years of running this community, and what I’ve witnessed here as well in the other groups I’ve hosted is that when women know one another, and care about one another’s whole experience, they will naturally uplift one another.

Without making sales, marketing or transactions the focus, women’s prosperity elevates when women form authentic relationships first.

So the basis of Sacred Remembering is “women waking up to the truth of who they are, and standing in that truth.” We share the “this is who I really am” part, which leads to women feeling more confident to stand in that truth, which then leads to more prosperity.

So let me give you an example.

If I know Audrey as a friend via community, and I have seen Audrey’s personal and spiritual evolution, and I’ve heard in Community Calls why she cares so much about the topic that led her to creating a business or an offering, I’m going to tell everyone I know  about Audrey‘s offering.

Because it’s a genuine on two levels. One, I have a relationship with Audrey, and two, I have witnessed her authentic process, the reclaiming of her own truths, and her passion.

Also, when a woman really touches into the *very* thing she cares most about, she lights up. When we see that in community, we reflect to one another, “Yes! That! Please share that with the world!”

When women or female entrepreneurs are trying to do this in isolation, we don’t have the feedback, and we don’t have the community to uplift us, which leads one down the road of becoming transactional. We have to sell our products. And that really is grating and draining to the cultivated feminine system within a woman. If we want to stop emulating patriarchy, we remember what life with the integrated feminine actually feels like (Barbie doesn’t understand that part yet), and then we have to develop new models that nourish, rather than deplete, the feminine.

When you are in authentic community, and someone over-steps and tries to sell to you first, it feels abrasive and inappropriate to the feminine essence. The feminine flourishes with relationships, a felt-sense of truth and trust, and connection.

I’m always astonished on LinkedIn that anyone thinks that they can come into my inbox and sell me some thing with one message. My clients do not make the decision to work with me through one message, they make the decision to work with me through trust, relationally, over time. I pretty much never invest my money when I hear about something for the first time, especially not a coaching or business mentorship offer, because I have no trust formulated for the person who just popped into my inbox. I actually don’t even finish reading the message, because when you put transactions first, it is off putting to the feminine.

It feels so good as a woman to stop playing transactional games. It feels so good as a woman to lift up other women, and have other women lift me up. It feels good to trust that we can all rise together – and that we will.

We are modern women, waking up to the truth of who we are, and standing in that truth. We are formulating businesses, offerings and strategies, according to the full truth of who we are. We are choosing where to spend our money based on how we feel, who we know personally, and what ethos we want to support.

For more information on the Sacred Remembering Community, please visit SarahPoet.com.

Energy architecture & the source of longing.

The consciousness of what we are doing in our awakening on the planet at this time is remembering that there is a greater field, a greater system of architecture and alignment that our soul was always intended to be a part of.

When we are connected to the One Source God Source, the all that is, it’s not an idea, it is an energetic architecture, a patterning that encompasses Life.

There are many many distortions in this patterning. Many things that we call social structures or cultural dynamics, like patriarchy and misogyny, narcissism, but what these things actually are are like glitches in the field. Like a bad “program.” Another way to say that would be to say a “fallen architecture.” 

When we obey or align ourselves to the fallen architecture and to the fallen systems, because almost all the time we think that this is reality itself, we then feel our traumas and memories and what we know as humans, we get confused about what reality is. And so a lot of the time these fallen/false templates are default modes of operation, rather than our own awakened consciousness, which you can imagine serves someone else’s agenda – not your own. And the energy that you relentlessly give, trying to “improve” your conditions within a fallen architecture are actually rerouted to serve negative agendas. Your energy is used against Life rather than for it.

The consciousness of what we are doing in our awakening on the planet at this time is remembering that there is a greater field, a greater system of architecture and alignment that our soul was always intended to be a part of. 

We were all designed to connect right into the architecture of the pure consciousness of Source and of the Earth and the healthy grids in the earth. You can look at it like a sacred geometry. And it is these fallen templates that have broken humans from the architecture – an actual energetic break has occurred – and there is immense opportunity now to realign, reconfigure, and actually re-energize our template or blueprint. 

So what does this look like? Yes, it looks like trauma healing, getting free of patterns, boundaries, knowing where our resources go, etc etc but it is also developing practices where you are actually practicing the new energetics and restoring the architecture of Source within You. You have to erect the fallen architecture. It’s the very crux of what we are doing on this planet.

We yearn to be a part of creation. We yearn to know the divine and heal depletion – and this is how we do it.

You have to practice the energetics that you do not see around you in the 3D, but you trust to exist because your Soul longs not only to know God, but to know your connection with the living frequencies of God, which is possible.

It’s like you’re saying, “Okay I know that there is all this fallen architecture and falsehood, and I am going to spend time every single day practicing what is actually true, and what I actually want to cultivate.” You get yourself free in this way. This connection that is inherently regenerative, inherently life-giving, and it is within that sacred connection to the Christos Sophia, to the earth grids, to Source, and “clicking” back into the architecture that was always designed to be whole. 

On my journey, I say that I have been healing and reuniting feminine and masculine on all levels. Let’s look at what that has to do with this. The human mind has a lot to grasp as we exit patriarchy and have to rewrite this patterns, these stories, about who has power and who doesn’t, and who has access to resources, who provides, who creates, etc which continues to reinforce a false-architecture and false-grid under our lives and under the earth as we repeat those stories. 

To spend time every single day realigning to that which is inherently the structure of the earth that we always dream of and want to live on, and there’s all these methodologies for navigating walking as a human on the planet, but humans are still suffering and I think that this is because we are not actually reconnecting to the Source connection and grid connection and circulating the new, vibrant, regenerative frequencies that are available to us. Everyday spirituality doesn’t get at this. 

We can bring the integrity of this divine architecture back to our lives. These are not just ideas, this is an energy system. So feminine and masculine becomes a dance with Creation, because all of life is the Christos Sophia, the masculine & feminine energies, and that all organization comes from this dance. Sophia is the creational space and sound, and the Christos being the light consciousness and when they come together they create the third thing – creating a trinity. The trinity frequency is inherently regenerative. 

We need to stop trying to heal our suffering without changing the structure of consciousness that we are operating in. Most of us do not see the bridge. It is through the reunification of that which creates and structures the Architecture of Living Life.

So when I am talking to women about the Heartland, I am talking about this journey where we are replacing the old template and connecting into Place (positive earth grids), the Heart, and new frequencies. We do this via connections in Nature, allowing yourself to journey into a multidimensional experience that is a combination of this world and what is not of this physical world (but where this world could go as humans anchor this architecture), allowing the “regenerative feminine” frequencies to work through our being, clearing the holographic field, and imagining a new reality for the feminine (and all life), and in doing so, we bring the New Earth, the new world, closer together. We’re bringing the future closer. 

We go to the Heartland and say, “This is more real than anything that I have been experiencing in these fallen templates, and I don’t choose these false things like depletion and scarcity anymore.” You might still have residual trauma, or get triggered, or still have money issues, because humanity is complex, and, we simultaneously choose to cultivate a practice to experience a New Earth regenerative feminine frequency, continually. We are going to be on this path, with ever-better results and experiences, for the rest of our lives and then some. Because we are talking about planetary evolution, and each of us is an integral part of that. It’s why we are here.

This is the invitation. To receive the Heartland codes, to practice them, and to allow them to change your life, just like you would practice anything else. Also, in being in these new frequencies, we clear much of the old density of the other realms because we have just realized a higher frequency and lower density problems can not continue to exist in these spaces. It requires diligence and devotion to discover and hold a new frequency. But doesn’t it sound worth it? 

Heartland 2023 begins September 13, 2023.

It’s okay to heal slowly.

I’ve been in dark nights of the soul before, sort of slashing my way through the dark. But this was tender, like walking myself forward by candlelight and love. 

Hello love, 

Have you ever felt that pressure to get it together when you’ve come undone? Have you felt the pressure to not be a mess when you just are? 

Or how about the pressure to go out and make money when really, you’re just not okay on the inside and you need time to heal? 

Where does this pressure come from? As I ponder it, it’s so bonkers (I love that word.) 

It’s bonkers because it’s the pace of the outer world, the world that humans have created that goes oh-so-fast, that doesn’t let you take a dang minute when you really need one. Which is traumatizing in and of itself. 

Last year, I took time to heal. It wasn’t productive, or lucrative, or super clean. It was caterpillar-turn-to-mush messy. I didn’t know what the result would be. I took time to get off the high-speed train of life (which for me, included a lot of old patterns of hyperarousal and fight/flight even as someone who “understood” this) and to heal something deep within me.

What was I healing? Well, I’ll tell you, at the risk that you’ll stop reading right here. But that’s the risk, isn’t it? Can we be with what is real in order to truly acknowledge and heal it? I was healing a mixture of deep loneliness and finding my personal lovability. It was triggered when, after I’d been so diligent about healing my sexual abuse trauma for so long, I experienced family rejection and a breakup that triggered the old sexual trauma all at the same time. I was also taking care of myself after finding out huge interdimensional intel on soul-level attacks I’d endured throughout my life. Someone recently called this Complex Sexual Trauma (like, including the invisible multidimensional f*ckery). Well, I’ve had it, and it became too much for this female-bodied light worker on a mission to handle for a while.

Also, I needed to go through this to help other women heal in the ways few are talking about. I was walking an embodied piece of Heartland alchemy. 

And it’s been about a year of going down and through this in order to come out the other side. That’s the slowest, sweetest healing I’ve ever done. I know the rest of my life will be so much better for it. And I know that it has changed the way I show up for myself, and embodied a new softness now within me. 

We like to throw around concepts like, “The feminine should be soft and receptive.” Well, in this world, that takes a lot of actual healing in order to happen, not pressure. 

This week I was thinking about the gift of giving yourself time for healing, and I put this message on social media – It’s okay to heal slowly, and if you’re healing slowly, it probably means you’re actually healing. Apparently others needed to hear it too, and I really respect that we can openly say this now. Many expressed gratitude for the message.

We are humans that have endured quite a bit of separation – I call these various events and societal circumstances “traumas of separation.” These traumas hurt the heart, they are held in the body, the soma, and they need to be met with tenderness and love. 

I’ve also been thinking about how sometimes I find myself judging the word “healing.” So I bet I’m not the only one who does that, too. Like “healing” isn’t as “woke” as “ascending” or something. So funny. 

I’ve always been this edge-walker who doesn’t really fit into boxes, and I’ve been this spiritual “coach” who is also really willing to acknowledge trauma as a part of the spiritual path. Healing trauma is a part of the spiritual path. How could it not be? You have to un-burden the effects of trauma to realize your God-nature. Anything else is bypassing and glossing over what’s hard, in my opinion. 

If trauma lives in the body, and it does, and we are spiritual beings in bodies, then how in the world are you going to deny an embodied trauma or stuck energy and just say, “Spritually, I’m great!” This is cutting the body, the feminine, off from the head, the masculine, and I’ve just never been game for participating in that. 

And so, healing is spiritual and not at all shameful. Also, if you are a womb-holder on this planet, you have likely experienced trauma, and we need to be talking more about those invisible assaults on the womb because this is what is keeping women impoverished. 

But literally, I’ve been interviewed on spiritual podcasts and because I talked about healing sexual trauma, the podcast was given a trigger warning. 

I don’t want to be a walking trigger warning at all, but I want to acknowledge what others may want to avoid, because I know the time and toll that these issues have taken on my life. 

The complexities that we have endured need time and space to heal, which is alchemy. True healing is alchemy. And by “taking time to heal” by no means do I mean “sitting around while I hope things heal.” Healing is active, too. It is diligent self care, it is energy clearing, learning about what’s really been going on, it is physical care, it is seeking support. It is being committed to healing the trauma truly, through and through, not identifying as a victim and staying in the trauma. 

This last year was truly a daily devotional practice to my true essence and to deep self-love. That’s it. So every day, that looked like doing my kundalini yoga, being on my Sacred Remembering path, taking the actions I heard Spirit tell me to take, keeping the faith, sleeping well, eating right, on and on, even when I did not know if that would be how I felt every day for the rest of my life. 

I’ve been in dark nights of the soul before, sort of slashing my way through the dark. But this was tender, like walking myself forward by candlelight and love. 

That devotion, gratefully, is bringing me through the “up and out” of this process. I can’t say it’s over, nor maybe ever, since I’m always willing to do the good work of transformation. 

For the past three years, I’ve offered Heartland every spring. But this year, spring came, and the energy wasn’t right because of where I was personally. I resisted and thought, “No! It’s always a spring 8 week event!” But that wasn’t happening. 

Also for about a year now, I’ve wanted to offer Heartland as an 8 MONTH experience. Heartland has 8 topics or components. And Heartland is about a New Earth experience of the feminine where we get to heal the ley lines of our lives in tandem with the Earth, heal our bodies and wombs of these traumas, and it has “code” for what life beyond the patriarchal traumas of separation feels like. So, in 8 weeks, you get the code. The activation.

But in 8 months, we can go slowly. We can heal, experience authentic transformation, and feel it down to our cells and bones, down to the way our feet touch this Earth. 

I am so, so grateful (tears actually welling in my eyes in this moment) to be here. Exactly here, with you, now. At this time on Earth, in our need for deep healing, in the amazing capacity for true and authentic transformation. The Heaven On Earth level embodiment. 

This year, we alchemize. We step into the Heartland for 8 full months and allow it to work us slowly, easefully, truly. And, we will emerge in the Spring! 

Beloveds, thank you for being the ones who open these emails, read to the end, and allow me to show up authentically as an imperfect woman with a big heart and true gifts. I want to do more to help us re-write our expectations of women, healing, performance culture, and what it looks like for us to stand in our truth. I try to model it and I will be doing that more and more as my desire to write returns. 

Thank you for your patience as Heartland prepared me for the beautiful journey that a group of us is about to take. Yes, it is a healing journey, and yes, it is also woke AF. 😉 

You can now learn more about this 8-month journey into the Heartland here: https://www.sarahpoet.com/heartland 

In love,

Sarah

Connecting to Positive Earth Grid Frequencies: Guided Audio Included

Why would we want to take the time to connect to the positive earth grids? Or what does it have to do with our lives and our healing?

Why would we want to take the time to connect to the positive earth grids?

Or what does it have to do with our lives and our healing?

For many years, I’ve been on a journey of feminine & masculine awakening, and on this journey I was also surprised to discover that in fact a lot of the “imbalance” between these two is actually in the energy of the planet.

We know that the imbalance of feminine & masculine presents in our culture as a struggle with a domination paradigm, confusion about power, access to resources, and more.

We know that many try to “balance” feminine and masculine through concepts, spiritual exploration, polarity play in relationships, integrating both within oneself, and more.

But seeing as these two forces actually comprise all of creation, it should not surprise us to realize that the planetary energy architecture, as well as your body’s energetic architecture, is also comprised of feminine & masculine.

HERE’S THE PART YOU REALLY NEED TO BE AWARE OF:

What was very fascinating and deeply resonating to me was to learn how the energy flow of feminine within the planet can and has been massively corrupted.

There are both positive (helpful) and negative (harmful) grid networks within the planet that either run a regenerative feminine current (helpful) or seek to take, corrupt, and utilize feminine current for harmful purposes.

This has been going on since the imbalance of feminine and masculine occurred, and honestly, is closer to the root cause of the issue than anything societal.

So, to be quick to the point – we can help to heal and restore the feminine current within ourselves the most easily while we do it in conjunction with the planet.

Feminine depletion and the corruption of how feminine energy is assumed to be available is deeply felt by us all, and potentially especially people who identify as “women.” Through my work with Heartland and the Regenerative Feminine, I want to give women a HUGE leg-up in dealing with depletion energetics by actually working with the energy of the woman and the planet to help her to restore her energy, and her access to divine union via the Heart.

The following track just “gets your feet wet.” From here, we enter into the various regenerative frequencies that the Heartland has to offer.

Please see the following links for the next opportunity to journey more deeply into correcting these “imbalances” via the positive earth grids and the regenerative space of the Heartland. I look forward to traveling with you into these restorative realms!

Heartland annual group: https://www.sarahpoet.com/heartland

Regenerative Feminine Guided Live Events: https://www.sarahpoet.com/regenerativefeminine

Guided introduction to connecting to the positive frequency space of the Heartland.

The real gender issues at work won’t look like gender issues.

So if companies are willing to innovate, and willing to realize, like we do in #DEI, that everyone has a bias, then we can start to talk about masculine and feminine characteristics and behaviors – not genders, we pivot the gender conversation – and take the conversation and #awareness to a whole new level.

The real gender issues at work won’t look like gender issues.

There are gender issues, because these are the times we’re living in, but someone’s found a way to justify decisions, to quote the data, and prove that all of the boxes have been checked – in order to put a lot of energy into holding up a pronouncement that “There are no gender issues going on here!” 

You will know that there are #gender issues at work when you look at the rate of true #satisfaction of the people, especially the #women and gender non-conforming people. 

We are still in an age where a lot of adult white males are busy leading #hierarchies, checking boxes, and saying, “We do not have a problem here.” This is more than we’d like to think, and it’s happening for understandable reasons, like our culture pressured men to feel they could always have the answers, and handle any problem. 

There are also a lot of men emerging that want to do it differently, namely younger men and men who have gone through psycho-spiritual awakenings.

If the true essence about the feeling at work is not a good one, for anyone, you have a gender issue. 

And no amount of checking #HR boxes is going to “solve” this. No amount of #denial and hierarchical proclamation will white wash the situation. It’s very easy at this point for people to see through that. They probably try to speak to it, and when they’re ignored, or it is explained to them how they are wrong, they often quit, if they’re not gotten rid of first. 

Handling this requires a new and different approach – one that is relational and innovative. It requires companies who actually want to lead progress to get real about the unspoken or undefined gender issues. 

Going to layer deeper, gender issues are, at the root, a discrimination of #feminine energy. Because if a woman uses #masculine #energy at work, she’s actually rewarded and can get by quite alright. This is how women were historically able to win positions of power – by adopting masculine work traits. The other polarity that women experience in the workplace is to stay quiet and more docile to keep the job. Both of these are ways that women behave in a #patriarchal workforce, both of which women are growing tired of and is why you see them #quitting .

Culturally, we don’t have the words for it yet – but we want to be able to bring the archetypal feminine to work.  

So if companies are willing to innovate, and willing to realize, like we do in #DEI, that everyone has a bias, then we can start to talk about masculine and feminine characteristics and behaviors – not genders, we pivot the gender conversation – and take the conversation and #awareness to a whole new level.

I was recently talking with a male client of mine who has a multi-million dollar business. He told me that he recognized that to hire women put his business at a competitive #advantageNot only does he hire them, he knows that to genuinely listen to them, to let them share their wisdom, and come up with a new ideas, is the reason his business is outshining competitors. 

He acknowledged that he sees the resistance in others to listening to women, and it is costing his competitors. Hiring innovative women, and him getting behind their ideas, has taken his business to a whole new level. 

Because he understands a bit about masculine and feminine through our work together, he was able to see that the competitive advantage was feminine energy, which is inherently creational, intuitive, and relational. 

This is what the traditional workplace has been missing. And it is the very thing that some companies are denying the need to look at, while other companies are pulling ahead because they’re not just putting women into positions of influence, but then they are allowing the entire body of wisdom – intuition and all – within that woman to influence decision making in the company. 

Wow! Of COURSE this is where our world should be progressing right now. Why all the discomfort and resistance?? We have to let go of what is not working to advance to where the world is progressing. 

It’s going that direction, and companies can innovate with feminine / masculine understanding and incorporation for #holistic development – or not, and be left behind. 

My client was happy to watch his company be more successful, and his clients more happy because of the magic that these women brought. He is someone willing to innovate and get out of his own way. Are you?

For workplace consultations, leadership team development, and systems consulting, see www . SarahPoet . com / Reconciliation and book a call today. 

Know someone who needs to see this? Thanks for sharing. 

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#genderequity #masculinefeminine #leadership #innovation #consulting #deiconsultant #hrinnovations #newparadigm #business #thoughtleadership

The real reason women are quitting.

I found it was becoming more and more difficult, as I was a part of a team and physical community of people, to remain sovereign particularly in my emotional energy. When we are relational (and we naturally are), the human-relating stuff starts to seep into the crevices of our lives, and work isn’t just work – it’s intertwined and perhaps harder to compartmentalize. 

As a woman, I watch myself have a certain habit that goes something like this: when I am invited to be a part of a thing (job, relationship, group goal), I first discern if it is aligned with my values and life direction, and then if it seems to be, I jump right in and give it my all. Key word – discern. I remember an old friend saying to me years ago after a breakup, “I think it’s all about discernment, Sarah.” She was saying – think more about it first. So I have gotten better over the years, but still, oftentimes, not long after this wholehearted “yes” to investing my time, energy, attention and heart into the genuine progress of said job, relationship or group goal, there is often a subsequent time of saying to myself, “Ah shit, I gave too much again.” 

What would indicate that I gave too much as a woman? Personally, and I don’t think I’m alone, I experience that I’m not being met by others in the amount of care that I am putting into it. It might seem like I’m caring too much, or they don’t care as much as I do. Another way I experience this is when the value exchange isn’t reciprocal. Maybe I gave too much in a job contract and am finding myself thinking about it when I’m not technically working, taking me away from valuable family or creative time. Or, the last time I was in a love relationship I knew I’d given it too much of my attention (and other resources) when I became sick with covid and he said as if accidentally speaking out loud the passing thought that was going through his head, “Oh, I should bring you food.” And then he never showed up with the food nor mentioned it again. That was the moment I thought, “Oops, I’ve invested more than he’s willing to invest.” It all fell apart not long after, which is quite alright, because I don’t like to live in a net deficit. I desire reciprocity and mutual respect of one another’s resources in places where I invest my energy. 

Emotional Over-giving: 

But back to the “thinking about the job when I’m not technically working.” This one wasn’t a problem when I was solely running my own business. After a previous career in education and as a school leader, I’d worked to build my own coaching and consulting practice in masculine / feminine energetics (see my TEDx) but then for various reasons – including but not limited to desiring to live and serve within a progressive community, and wanting to raise my son with more stability and positive community influence – I negotiated a part time salary to help build an innovative new project. I got my first “job” in nearly six years. 

Because we live and learn what we’re meant to teach, over the years I have developed and taught this system to women called Structure and Flow and my entrepreneurial work has begun to take shape more and more around redefining women’s #resources . I have taught this for years, but then I needed to really lean on this system for women’s resource allocation that I’d developed, as I found myself needing to categorize my time and not allow the various jobs and tasks to all blend together. 

I’m pretty good at compartmentalizing tasks and duties, or giving my attention and focus to one thing at one time. For example, I am a single mother and devote time to my son in a certain way and when I’m with him, I’m fully with him. I have coaching clients and run a membership community, and again, when it is just my work there is this joy that I have with it and I never think to myself, “I’m thinking about a client too much.” I do my work, my clients reach out when they need me, and all is great in the exchange (which I worked a very long time to achieve, I will say). I’m actually very good at managing my own energy and boundaries when it’s just me and my business, but some kind of old wire tripped when I went back to a paycheck, and what an opportunity to observe and report from this angle! 

I found it was becoming more and more difficult, as I was a part of a team and physical community of people, to remain sovereign particularly in my emotional energy. When we are relational (and we naturally are), the human-relating stuff starts to seep into the crevices of our lives, and work isn’t just work – it’s intertwined and perhaps harder to compartmentalize. 

Personally, I have redefined the value of my resources. People don’t just pay me for my time, as standard economics has implemented for some time. I define my valuable resources as my time, life force energy, attention, creative energy, my love and devotion, my intuition, my body, and my emotional wisdom. And that is what I charge for. Those are the things I’m considering when getting involved in an exchange, but that’s because I’ve literally redefined “value” for myself. 

Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself. 

She said what? Charging for emotional energy? Yes. 

My emotional energy is one of my most valuable resources. It is my intuition, wisdom, my body’s knowing, and emotional energy is the basis of creational energy. 

To begin to redefine what “resources” are for us, and then also see the true value of them, we must be willing to look at “resources” and energy, and redefine them through a #masculine / #feminine lens. And when we do, it all starts to make more sense. This is what is underlying women quitting. Stick with me. 

Masculine & Feminine Resources are based in Masculine & Feminine Energy: 

It’s not a #gender thing, although it influenced #genderstereotypes . Masculine & Feminine are energies within each of us, and we call on them for different aspects of our lives. 

I’ll break it down like this – there are feminine and masculine archetypes, and affiliated with those archetypes are certain qualities. Now, we must (must) take time to understand what is an *actual* archetypal quality of both masculine and feminine versus a societal projection of feminine and masculine. Most people, if you just say these words, are going to associate societal projections and stereotypes to this, but I don’t have time to unwind that here, so we’ll move forward with a few quick examples. 

An archetype isn’t a person, it’s a flawless example (which people are not). The masculine archetype possesses qualities of singular focus, linear thought, task completion, decisiveness, consideration of all in the tribe, and makes sure everyone has their resources. 

You might not associate masculine with those things and instead associate masculine with things like dominance, control, coercion, snagging all the resources, etc. That is patriarchal, or shadow masculine. Also called unconscious masculine. It’s what needs to be cleaned up on the planet. 

The feminine archetype in its healthy expression will possess qualities such as nurturance, caretaking, emotional consideration, lovingly willing to open and to give, is very heart centered, has a wisdom based on a full-spectrum seeing (as compared to the singular focus of the masculine), is communal and relational. 

The unconscious, shadow, unhealthy feminine would be emotionally manipulative, withholding, seeking to snag the man’s resources, or the harsh feminism of trying to take the power back. 

We pay for masculine qualities, but expect the feminine to give for free:

If you hear nothing else from this article, hear this: in value exchanges, both economic and relational, our society as it stands most often will pay for what is valued as masculine energy, and it wants feminine energy for free. 

And this is why #women are #quitting – because they are tired of the world just expecting the exhaustion of what is inherently feminine to be normal and for the taking. 

When you work in a “job,” you’re typically trading #performance and time for a paycheck. Performance is output, people assume that output leads to profit. All of this is masculine energy also because it’s outward, always moving, always pushing. And if you’re always in “yang,” then you’re not taking enough time to rest, and you’re not going to get to the really good creativity. #Creativity and productivity are not the same thing, they do not at all come from the same areas of the brain or impulse. Creativity has an impulse and needs to be nurtured, production can be rote. 

So that means, most companies who are trying to innovate probably want us to feel something. When we can feel, we can be lit up, we can invest our love and devotion, we can care about what we are doing, and we can create better solutions for the world. You’ll notice that what I just referenced is feminine. 

But people typically don’t pay for creational downtime, for time to gestate the ideas, to have an emotional reaction to something. Some are innovating in this way, but many are still pushing for productivity and output as a measure of profit, and passing this pressure onto employees. 

Women are going to have emotional reactions to work, because we are relational beings and we are always considering the whole. It is the nature of the feminine, and women have feminine energy because we are women, and the world is having a massive awakening in feminine consciousness right now. If you’re missing this, your head is under a patriarchal rock. 

This awakening is also an unidentified reason women are quitting. They are #remembering something, and realizing they don’t fit into the status quo, but don’t have the exact words for it. The more a woman remembers the truth of authentic feminine and masculine, the less she will be able to fit into what has been the norm. Thank God. Because she will quit, and she will start something new that does work differently, and she will be on the front lines of innovation. 

Redefining value at work to keep women: 

We want to care and invest our emotional energy, and many times, it isn’t wanted or appreciated. Correction: it is wanted if someone needs to vent #emotions at work to someone who is naturally empathic. It is wanted for free. But what happens when a woman has an intuition inside of a work project, or wants to bring an innovative agenda item to a meeting, or try something collaboratively that has traditionally been between male decision makers in a room? Can that be heard? Or not? If not, she’ll be quitting. 

It is not fun or fair for a feminine-essenced being to have to stuff her #intuition or inner knowing (also called emotional energy) because only masculine traits are valued. It is not fun for her to emotionally labor, on her own time while she’s trying to have an easy going dinner with her kids, how she’s not listened to at work or how she truly senses what is needed, but her wisdom isn’t valued. That is deadening. She has life force, she has energy that she wants to give. She wants to devote it toward something that matters. 

Will you redefine “value” in order to keep the women? Will you better listen to the women in your organization? Will you trust her to know the fullness of what she can bring to work, and know that your company will be better off for it?  I hope so. When you do, all KINDS of creational energy will flow for your projects! All of that feminine emotional energy remember, is creational, and it wants to go somewhere!

Decision makers are welcome to reach out to me, as I consult with companies to identify and help heal the exact places causing unrest. Many people don’t know how to identify what is blocking the operational systems in an organization because they don’t yet have this language or concept. It’s not taboo to talk openly about masculine and feminine, about where it applies to gender and how it impacts us. Companies who are willing to do this will innovate first and go the farthest in the future world we’re creating. Visit https://www.sarahpoet.com/reconciliation today to learn more and book a consultation with me. 

#embodiedbreath #masculinefeminine #quietquitting #greatresignation #emotionallabor #emotionalenergy #creativity #innovation #newparadigm

Women, have you felt hurt by the feedback, “You’re too masculine?”

The feedback that “you’re too masculine” is shaming, and here’s the thing – this is something that can actually be worked with. Feminine and masculine polarity can always be re-balanced, or re-assigned between two people.

I’m seeing a theme lately in women coming to me and sharing that men are giving them the feedback that they are too “masculine.” 

Not only are they giving women this feedback, they are insulting women with it, and using it as a reason to leave the relationship. 

I was so impacted this year by the look on a woman’s face as she told me that her husband of over twenty years was leaving her because she was “too masculine.” It was the look of a woman who knew how to be stoic and save face, but had no idea how to handle this information. The look of a woman who had done her best, and from the suit jacket she was wearing and the leather bag she was carrying, I’d say she had been a powerful and influential woman in her career. And now he was leaving her, and she wasn’t showing any emotion about it. She looked like she was just going to “handle it.” 

I’m not placing women as the victims, here, don’t misread me. These nuances of realizing where we went wrong with feminine and masculine, and how to culturally and spiritually redefine these concepts and learn to apply them to our lives – it’s huge work that we are in as a collective right now.

But what a double bind for a woman who received cultural messages that to be a strong woman meant she had to be equal and climb the career ladders just like men. Women have learned to do this because it was necessary for survival, actually, and it also feels good to many to climb those ranks. 

Until women themselves are beginning to realize more and more that that was never a game we would have designed on our own. It was a game we inherited. The rules of the game sounded like, “If you want an equal shot at salary and resources, if you want independence and if you want to earn your own resources, you’re going to have to compete with men in the workplace.” 

One woman I recently heard from was a lawyer. Her boyfriend had just broken up with her using the reason, “You’re too masculine.” 

So I want to take this article in a direction you may not expect. 

“You’re too masculine” is not very evolved feedback. 

Women, I know it hurts, but this wouldn’t be thrown at you by a man who is actually aware of healthy feminine and masculine, rather, this is likely coming from his subconscious desires about the feminine. (I’m not saying this as an insult, I’m saying this based in psychology and observation.) I would recommend taking the feedback as information for self reflection, but not necessarily as an insult, if you can help it. 

And men, we actually know we’re overworked and taking care of things we would rather a man take care of. It would be better to stop insulting her and start asking how you are contributing toward it. How can you help her to feel more embodied, safe, and comfortable in her feminine archetype, if that is what you want more of? 

Isn’t it just like dominator culture to give punitive and identity-forming feedback to a woman? Isn’t it just like dominator culture to shape a woman one way such that she learns to survive with certain tactics, and then shame her for it? 

What is dominator culture? A culture built on some having power and some not having power. 

The feedback that “you’re too masculine” is shaming, and here’s the thing – this is something that can actually be worked with. Feminine and masculine polarity can always be re-balanced, or re-assigned between two people. This can be exciting work with a coach or through your own research and implementation. And a man who is accusing a woman of being too masculine is also a man who has embodied a feminine polarity that he is no longer happy with. Don’t shame her for it – learn about how to embody a masculine energetic, embody it, and ask her if she wants to practice embodying more of the feminine polarity. I promise you, she probably does. She’s probably tired of holding the world up all the time and would love to experience letting go of the masculine tendencies she’s learned. Try her! 

I couldn’t look at this woman and tell her to shrug off her husband using this as an excuse to divorce her, and I would never want to. 

But my general feeling is that women, if this has happened to you, it’s okay. Here are some suggestions on how to move forward. 

  1. See it for what it is. There is some truth to it – you have masculine tendencies and they probably serve you at work. It’s okay to ask yourself what of this “masculine” energy you also may want to let go of in certain situations or love relationships. Sometimes for women, what looks like “masculine” energy is actually a self-protective energy. 

2. Everyone has masculine and feminine inside of us, so there’s no need to abandon the masculine within you altogether. The masculine is needed for things like structure, earning an income, keeping a schedule. I’m not saying these are “man” things, but they are aspects of masculine energy. When said like that, it’s easy to see that we all have both.

3. Begin to ask yourself, “What are healthy qualities of feminine and masculine, and what are unhealthy qualities?” For example, domination is an unhealthy masculine energy, but leadership is a healthy quality. Try to consciously choose what feels healthy, more and more. 

4. Decide if you want to hold the feminine or the masculine pole in relationships. Regardless of the gender of two people, one person (in any given situation, or generally) holds the masculine pole and one holds the feminine pole. Of course, two people can also create amazing, conscious balance within themselves, but honestly, feminine and masculine polarity is part of what makes a relationship fun and juicy. So if you are masculine at work in a leadership role, how do you shift into a feminine role with your male partner if your choice truly is to hold the feminine polarity? I can certainly help couples shift this dynamic in their lives, and another resource to look into may be Dr. Patricia Allen’s work. 

5. Welcome any feedback or realization you may be receiving about being “overly masculine” as an invitation to get to know the feminine. A few friends of mine with excellent resources for coming to know the feminine are Liz Kelly, the author of Home to Her and the creator of the Home to Her podcast. Liz is always researching and sharing the “Her-storical perspective,” as she calls it. Also, Sarah Grady has developed a body of work called Homecoming which is an excellent path for women to re-embody their feminine nature. And, of course, I created over 144 episodes of the Sacred Remembering Podcast, which encourages women to trust their direct knowing and path of reawakening not only to the feminine, but to what healthy union of feminine and masculine actually looks like. 

I could tell you more from a psychological perspective what is really going on in a man’s own feminine / masculine dynamics both internally and with his residual mother wounding, but sometimes I feel like I’ve already analyzed men enough. So for today, I’ll end here and I’ll say that no one is “too” anything. 

We are humans who inherited life in a patriarchal system, and this is an exciting time for us to come to consciousness about how to utilize feminine and masculine as paths of personal and collective awakening. 

If we don’t like it, we don’t need to insult others. We need to start getting curious about what we truly desire our relationship with these archetypes and energies to be moving forward. 

If you are looking for support in re-balancing, re-harmonizing, or re-defining feminine and masculine in your life and relationships, schedule a consultation at www.sarahpoet.com/book today. I’d love to support you and help us all to move past our hurtful misunderstandings.