Inner feminine masculine

Women, have you felt hurt by the feedback, “You’re too masculine?”

I’m seeing a theme lately in women coming to me and sharing that men are giving them the feedback that they are too “masculine.”

Not only are they giving women this feedback, they are insulting women with it, and using it as a reason to leave the relationship.

I was so impacted this year by the look on a woman’s face as she told me that her husband of over twenty years was leaving her because she was “too masculine.” It was the look of a woman who knew how to be stoic and save face, but had no idea how to handle this information. The look of a woman who had done her best, and from the suit jacket she was wearing and the leather bag she was carrying, I’d say she had been a powerful and influential woman in her career. And now he was leaving her, and she wasn’t showing any emotion about it. She looked like she was just going to “handle it.”

I’m not placing women as the victims, here, don’t misread me. These nuances of realizing where we went wrong with feminine and masculine, and how to culturally and spiritually redefine these concepts and learn to apply them to our lives – it’s huge work that we are in as a collective right now.

But what a double bind for a woman who received cultural messages that to be a strong woman meant she had to be equal and climb the career ladders just like men. Women have learned to do this because it was necessary for survival, actually, and it also feels good to many to climb those ranks.

Until women themselves are beginning to realize more and more that that was never a game we would have designed on our own. It was a game we inherited. The rules of the game sounded like, “If you want an equal shot at salary and resources, if you want independence and if you want to earn your own resources, you’re going to have to compete with men in the workplace.”

One woman I recently heard from was a lawyer. Her boyfriend had just broken up with her using the reason, “You’re too masculine.”

So I want to take this article in a direction you may not expect.

“You’re too masculine” is not very evolved feedback.

Women, I know it hurts, but this wouldn’t be thrown at you by a man who is actually aware of healthy feminine and masculine, rather, this is likely coming from his subconscious desires about the feminine. (I’m not saying this as an insult, I’m saying this based in psychology and observation.) I would recommend taking the feedback as information for self reflection, but not necessarily as an insult, if you can help it.

And men, we actually know we’re overworked and taking care of things we would rather a man take care of. It would be better to stop insulting her and start asking how you are contributing toward it. How can you help her to feel more embodied, safe, and comfortable in her feminine archetype, if that is what you want more of?

Isn’t it just like dominator culture to give punitive and identity-forming feedback to a woman? Isn’t it just like dominator culture to shape a woman one way such that she learns to survive with certain tactics, and then shame her for it?

What is dominator culture? A culture built on some having power and some not having power.

The feedback that “you’re too masculine” is shaming, and here’s the thing – this is something that can actually be worked with. Feminine and masculine polarity can always be re-balanced, or re-assigned between two people. This can be exciting work with a coach or through your own research and implementation. And a man who is accusing a woman of being too masculine is also a man who has embodied a feminine polarity that he is no longer happy with. Don’t shame her for it – learn about how to embody a masculine energetic, embody it, and ask her if she wants to practice embodying more of the feminine polarity. I promise you, she probably does. She’s probably tired of holding the world up all the time and would love to experience letting go of the masculine tendencies she’s learned. Try her!

I couldn’t look at this woman and tell her to shrug off her husband using this as an excuse to divorce her, and I would never want to.

But my general feeling is that women, if this has happened to you, it’s okay. Here are some suggestions on how to move forward.

See it for what it is. There is some truth to it – you have masculine tendencies and they probably serve you at work. It’s okay to ask yourself what of this “masculine” energy you also may want to let go of in certain situations or love relationships. Sometimes for women, what looks like “masculine” energy is actually a self-protective energy.

2. Everyone has masculine and feminine inside of us, so there’s no need to abandon the masculine within you altogether. The masculine is needed for things like structure, earning an income, keeping a schedule. I’m not saying these are “man” things, but they are aspects of masculine energy. When said like that, it’s easy to see that we all have both.

3. Begin to ask yourself, “What are healthy qualities of feminine and masculine, and what are unhealthy qualities?” For example, domination is an unhealthy masculine energy, but leadership is a healthy quality. Try to consciously choose what feels healthy, more and more.

4. Decide if you want to hold the feminine or the masculine pole in relationships. Regardless of the gender of two people, one person (in any given situation, or generally) holds the masculine pole and one holds the feminine pole. Of course, two people can also create amazing, conscious balance within themselves, but honestly, feminine and masculine polarity is part of what makes a relationship fun and juicy. So if you are masculine at work in a leadership role, how do you shift into a feminine role with your male partner if your choice truly is to hold the feminine polarity? I can certainly help couples shift this dynamic in their lives, and another resource to look into may be Dr. Patricia Allen’s work.

5. Welcome any feedback or realization you may be receiving about being “overly masculine” as an invitation to get to know the feminine. A few friends of mine with excellent resources for coming to know the feminine are Liz Kelly, the author of Home to Her and the creator of the Home to Her podcast. Liz is always researching and sharing the “Her-storical perspective,” as she calls it. Also, Sarah Grady has developed a body of work called Homecoming which is an excellent path for women to re-embody their feminine nature. And, of course, I created over 144 episodes of the Sacred Remembering Podcast, which encourages women to trust their direct knowing and path of reawakening not only to the feminine, but to what healthy union of feminine and masculine actually looks like.

I could tell you more from a psychological perspective what is really going on in a man’s own feminine / masculine dynamics both internally and with his residual mother wounding, but sometimes I feel like I’ve already analyzed men enough. So for today, I’ll end here and I’ll say that no one is “too” anything.

We are humans who inherited life in a patriarchal system, and this is an exciting time for us to come to consciousness about how to utilize feminine and masculine as paths of personal and collective awakening.

If we don’t like it, we don’t need to insult others. We need to start getting curious about what we truly desire our relationship with these archetypes and energies to be moving forward.

If you are looking for support in re-balancing, re-harmonizing, or re-defining feminine and masculine in your life and relationships, schedule a consultation at www.sarahpoet.com/book today. I’d love to support you and help us all to move past our hurtful misunderstandings.

The feminine in you holds your deepest wisdom.

The feminine has been something that we seek to reclaim – something that we seek to bring into “equal balance” with the masculine.

It is as though the feminine was always the underdog, or made to be the underdog, fighting her way back.

In a world of masculine/feminine archetypal imbalance, the feminine was secondary.

The feminine has been something that we seek to reclaim – something that we seek to bring into “equal balance” with the masculine.

It is as though the feminine was always the underdog, or made to be the underdog, fighting her way back.

Always trying to prove herself, and prove her worth.

When I talk to modern women on a personal journey of feminine / masculine reclamation, most often, their feminine re-discovery is something they are “fitting in” at the end of the day, or on weekends. They are unsure how to actually integrate it fully into their lives.

Many women – maybe you – have a “hunch” that there is more, or that you have special gifts inside of you that are waiting to emerge. (You do, no doubt.)

But how long are you going to hold that as a “hunch” and not act on it? How long are YOU going to push the feminine to the side while you continue to over-rely on your inner masculine?

I’ve said it before, but the feminine isn’t “cute.” She isn’t optional. And she isn’t secondary, just because patriarchy positioned the greatest power play this planet has ever known.
But here’s the point of today’s email: The feminine, reclaimed, is the greatest thing that will ever happen to your life.

In it contains your true wisdom, your magical gifts, your mystical sight. It contains your capacity to love (men) without the trauma of past relationships plaguing you – your heart finally open wide.

It allows you to lead with your body wisdom, unlocking pleasure potential, aligning to the truth of your own soul that it feels f*cking good to be alive.

The feminine has been repressed for thousands of years. It is awakening within you and me – in each of us – and INSIDE OF US contains the true depth of wisdom that isn’t written in books or taught in schools. You can’t get certifications for actually turning on your own innate wisdom.

The feminine = Sophianic Wisdom. And she wants to come alive through you.

I have helped women on the other side of the world become pregnant after an infertility journey. No one but my own soul taught me how to do that, but only after I fully opened to letting HER, the feminine, fully flow through me.

I have helped women who had been abused leave their partnerships and stand in energetic and financial sovereignty. I have helped women trust their inner knowing, sight, and intuition, and watched as their gifts as a mystic, healer, or seer came online.
I have built my entire business based on my soul’s hunch, my relationship with the feminine, and yes, my deep re-unification of both masculine and feminine archetypes. I CREATED MY OWN TEMPLATE. And I could not have done this if I’d left Her behind.

We are remembering our truest gifts.

We are activating our gifts – the true gifts of the feminine – by prioritizing HER.

We are bringing an ancient and new wisdom to the planet, now, when the planet needs new solutions.

I believe those solutions lie in the feminine wisdom, inside of you.
Unlock her, free her, know her, release her.

We don’t want to “rebalance” the archetypes. We want to LIVE OUT their fullest expression.

Let her teach you. Let her live through you.

ACTIVATE YOUR GIFTS THROUGH PRIVATE MENTORSHIP

Stop letting men deplete you.

the woman who has something they want. Some men will uplift women and their missions. Let’s talk about the difference.

Some men will subconsciously tear down the woman who has something they want. Some men will uplift women and their missions.

Let’s talk about the difference.

A man who wants something from a woman that he’s not getting may act in the following ways:

insatiable desire for her body, her energy
tearing her down when he sees her succeeding
feeling very lofty for his minor financial success, feels inflated when giving to a woman
desires to have a lot of conversations of big ideas, but does little with them and does not have a command of his own money or make those things happen

At the root of any of this behavior is a dis-integration of the Mother in the man.

A man needs to acknowledge his insatiable thirst for Her (mother, feminine, woman) and reconcile this within himself.

When he does, he will be IN SERVICE TO a woman, her mission, her success. He will ask how he can help. He will refer her services to others, he will put her in front of his people. He will invest his energy and money into her.

Because he has no problem uplifting and sharing the wisdom of the Holy Feminine for all eyes to see.

Women, my guess is that you have a lot of experience with men who do NOT understand this yet.

My guess is also that you have a lingering imprint of depletion as a result of this.

Maybe you’re married to a good man who can’t get enough of you… but it wears you down for some reason.

Maybe you enter into relationships and receive big promises from men, rearranging your life accordingly, to find he can’t keep it and then you feel depleted.

Or you spend a lot of time with male friends who talk about deep and spiritual stuff but then you realize that this time investment hasn’t actually made you more resourceful.

Maybe you have no idea what it feels like to be uplifted by a man who doesn’t want to consume you.

In that case, my love, Heartland is for you. You can take this as a live course, offered once a year, or schedule a consultation with me about doing this in private mentorship.

Heartland is about creating regenerative energetics in our systems as women so that we are no longer in depletion – and has NOTHING to do with men.

Why are women in depletion? Because we’ve operated with distortions around what masculine & feminine really are in this silly gender construct – and we’ve given and given to men, to families, to society, to workplaces…. forever.

Women are collectively depleted.

When women are replenished, we change the entire energetics of the operating system of the planet. (Starting with your world first.)

It’s a bigger educational piece that I’m happy to get into, but my love, let me ask you this – did you relate to what I was saying here? The amazing thing is, too, that when we say “no more” to depletion and clear these lower-masculine behaviors from our lives, and/or correct the energetic template ourselves, the men who show up in our lives are the ones who have done the work with the Holy Mother and are now prepared to support you as well.

What a welcome change, right??

Change the energetics from depletion to regeneration in YOU, now. Heartland will take you there.

Woman, What is your Masculine Template?

For years, I’ve been talking about the necessity as women for us to heal our relationship to the masculine. We have an old imprint of what “masculinity” means based on cultural standards, and we have to wash that clean and open our minds to what else is possible. I’m not so much interested in defining masculinity as I am inviting us into relationship with the masculine archetype.

I’ve been upgrading my masculine template lately.

While I’ve been healing my relationship to the masculine for many years, this new language of the “masculine template” recently came into my consciousness. It’s been a really helpful conceptualization and I hope that sharing it is helpful for you as well.

“Masculinity” I see as a narrative full of cultural assumptions and that’s not really my interest. Knowing the masculine archetype in both women and men and being in right relationship to it is what I am interested in.

I want to talk about the “template” that we have of the masculine, and I mean the masculine archetype. This template informs literally everything we do as women, and we don’t even realize it. Women are literally always forming their behavior based on the “template” of the masculine they hold in their consciousness.

Just this week, in a coaching call with a woman, she was able to see that her deep resistance to the concept of structure was because she subconsciously associated structure with the masculine and oppression. So – it’s happening in your subconscious literally every day, all day, that you are behaving in relation or reaction to your “masculine template” in your consciousness. I promise you.

I’ll explain further and take us deeper into this juicy, worthy, and potentially slightly uncomfortable contemplation.

As women, we have an “orientation” to masculine. We have a set of associations with men/patriarchy that are rather subconscious. We assume certain things of men and come to expect certain behaviors from men – not all of which are positive. This orientation to the masculine also includes all of the memories and imprints of wrongdoing that men have done. And, to take this to the depth that it really needs to go – we have imprints of the wrongdoings that patriarchy and religion have done, which are both associated with domination and oppression of women and the feminine.

Let’s look at some more real life examples of how the masculine template we carry influences our lives.

A woman was raised by a single mother with an abuse history who worked her butt off to secure minimal resources and basic needs. This woman formed beliefs from her childhood such as, “Men don’t show up, I’ll always be on my own, I have to work really hard but it won’t pay off.” She still carries these in her adult life and it forms and shapes the way she interacts with work, men, money, and even the extent to which she values herself.

How can you relate to that?

Another example: A woman is super talented in her work but it goes unrecognized by her male colleagues. She forms beliefs like, “Men are just in it for themselves, I have to work twice as hard to be recognized, my ideas as a woman are undervalued.” She spends her entire workday energetically responding to these perceptions. It shapes her.

Can you relate?

Last example: A woman grows up as a girl inside traditional religion and hears messages about subservience and being seen not heard. She grows up to be a good girl, silently frustrated with kowtowing to men who don’t even live in alignment to the true virtuous messages of the religion, but use it as a way to be dominant. She forms an orientation to the masculine that says, “I need to ask permission to be me. If I don’t behave I won’t be loved or provided for. I just have to keep giving myself to men and volunteer causes even though I’m not fulfilled.”

How did your relationship with this supposed “male god” influence your relationship with the masculine?

Each of these women has an orientation to the masculine.

Each of these women have so very naturally confused the behavior of men and religion for the true masculine. It’s happening everywhere, so commonly, that we don’t even question it. Entire feminist movements have been oriented toward fighting against what is conceptually in front of them – an orientation toward an oppressive masculine.

When we see the masculine as destructive, abuser, oppressor, dominator – we carry that as our masculine template. The template we then orient to. When we have the formative experiences of shadow masculine, including trauma and oppression, our psyches, our cellular structure, our bodies begin to orient to all men, all ideas of masculine, all masculine essences as oppressive. The template was formed, and then the template is what we carry out.

“Men are dangerous.”

“Men are takers.”

“I’ll have to do it all on my own.”

“I’ll have to give him sex if I want to secure my livlihood.”

It’s so common for women to carry a template of an old, wounded, shadow masculine, isn’t it? We’ve grown up in patriarchy, for thousands of years now, and so our orientation toward this immature, aggressive, dominator masculine is well formed. It is the template to which we orient our lives.

But it’s not serving us. In fact, it’s keeping women very trapped. It’s causing women to expend massive amounts of time and energy defending themselves, hustling extra hard, giving away life force energy, fighting against something, feeling as if something is being taken from them, etc.

Orienting toward an outdated template is a trap. And, it’s a choice.

Women can upgrade our template of the masculine. And we can do this whether or not we have the external evidence of it.

And we must.

When women with masculine-related trauma in this old and outdated template ask me how to heal their relationship to the masculine, the first thing I tell them is that this happens inside of their hearts.

Women habitually look outside of themselves for the examples of masculinity that they can have faith in – and when they think they’ve found that person, they put all their eggs in that basket. We enter relationships with men who we think, “This guy isn’t like the rest, he won’t hurt me.” We look for men who understand “sacred masculine” and do men’s work.

But this is not actually the way we heal our masculine template (because nine times out of ten, we’re just attracting more of the old template when we search for it in a man). We update the masculine template in our hearts, in our imaginations, in our own healing journey with the masculine and in our own contemplation.

We heal our masculine template by healing our traumas associated with the masculine, which of course can take some time and is big work. But, if you’re reading this, you’re up for that work.

Begin to ask yourself what the evolved masculine, the sacred masculine, even the masculine aspect of God looks like to you. What does your heart know and dream?
THIS is the creation of YOUR NEW masculine template! This is where YOU get to recreate the masculine that is possible and what you want to see. You get to feel it, imagine it, and then *form your behavior in relation to this new template.

Even before you have the external evidence that it exists, this is what you do.

For example, I know that the entire universe is comprised of both feminine and masculine and that there would never, ever be a Holy Father who would renounce the importance of the Holy Mother. I know that religious representation of God as a dominating force that positioned women as less-than is a total farce. Therefore, I don’t have to look for a church that understands this in order to validate my upgraded template. I can investigate what I believe and trust in my own heart. I can redefine my personal spiritual relationship with the Holy Father. In doing so, I get a new definition of that divine masculine essence, and I can orient toward that instead.

I can *choose* to orient toward the painful past template of masculine through the church or I can *choose* to orient toward a progressive and restored template of the divine masculine.

In this way, I re-imprint my own psyche and not only that, it changes the way I live. Maybe I don’t walk around as guarded or defensive anymore. Maybe I relax in how hard I push myself because I discover more trust in a benevolent provider masculine divine. (Real life example right there.)

Or, if you’ve not had good experiences in love relationships with men (maybe because you’ve been attracting from an outdated template), then you get to begin to rewrite your template of what is possible in love. You get to imagine it by developing your own relationship and reflection to the question, “What is masculine? What do I want in relation to masculine and men?” You get to dream it up, and then that dream becomes your template, and you not only orient to life from that new place and feel much better, but you also get to attract your next partner from this upgraded template.

Ask yourself what template of the masculine you are orienting to. Additional reflection questions could include:

How do I believe I will be treated by men?
How do I relate to the masculine archetype in my work?
How much do I trust I’ll be provided for vs how much do I work super hard to ensure that I meet all my own needs?
What do I believe is the definition of the divine masculine?
If I were to develop a relationship to the divine masculine, what would that look like?
In what ways do I trust or do I not trust the masculine in men or God?
What do I expect from men?

The template can always be upgraded, and in doing so, you are doing the entire world a service by re-imagining masculinity and orienting toward that upgraded template. You might not see it yet, but if you carry that template in your body, mind, psyche and orient your life and behavior toward it (instead of a victimized or wounded orientation), you will essentially birth it into being with your faith, curiosity, and the energetic template you carry.

Women, what is the masculine that you choose to relate to? Start living it. Today.

Lower masculine is not the destroyer, but it can be.

With so many women angry at men and with so many women lumping together “masculine” with “patriarchy,” I felt it time to address this.

With so many women angry at men, with so many women who have been harmed by men and patriarchy, and with so many women lumping together “masculine” with “patriarchy,” I felt it time to address this.

I am going to use my own vocabulary to explain this, so please first allow me to define the terms I’m using.

Patriarchy: System of oppression that hijacked feminine energy (including the life force of indigenous people and people of color) and utilized that stolen energy for its own gain. It is a system of destruction, which I say without emotion. I’m simply stating the energetics. Patriarchy is a taker system.

Lower masculine: This is the primarily unconscious and default masculinity in a patriarchy that lives for power, greed, consumption, and its sense of provision and protection are absent or collapsed. Imagine it’s like the opposite of a Kingly masculine like King Arthur embodied. The lower masculine is present in men – for example men that want to feed off of a woman’s life force energy, men that want to have the power and control, or men that don’t have a sense of provisional capacity to care for women and children and they spend a lot of time feeling like a victim to women. But lower masculine can also be present in women, in organizations, in everyone, because everyone (and every organization, every system) has both feminine and masculine energetics.

Destroyer: This is my term for the dark energy that wants to take from the feminine, from women, from Earth, and from holistic systems. This energy wants to prevent the evolution of consciousness that would include true community values and equal distribution of resources. This energy, in my opinion, fueled patriarchy and we wouldn’t have patriarchy as it stands without it. Patriarchy was successful because of the taker energy, but resulting in massive separation and a depletion of the feminine energetic.

Can lower masculine also include the destroyer energetic? It can, but it is not always true – which is nuanced and the point of this article.

When a woman has been hurt by systems of oppression in her life, for example at work, and she looks around and sees men in suits, and women in pantsuits emulating the men, and she feels targeted by this, she may think to herself and draw the conclusion that, “Men perpetuate destroyer energetics.” But then she can look at the systems, at the fact that women also participate in these destroyer systems, and she can find examples of men who seem to want to help rather than hurt, and she’d have to admit that these two are not one and the same. Equating men with destroyer is actually irresponsible and limiting on the part of women. It limits men’s capacity and is unkind.

Lower masculine can be a destroyer. It can be out for itself and be maliciously willing to take another’s energy (or Earth energy). But it can also be more innocent. It’s still unconscious, so I’m not making excuses or letting it completely off the hook, but unconscious lower masculine behaviors look different. A man can want too much of a woman’s attention, he can put a woman above fulfilling his purpose in the world and find himself lost, or he can avoid his own quest for consciousness in favor of the emotional reinforcement he gets from women in his life, but while this is unconscious and “lower masculine,” it doesn’t make him a destroyer. It can also deplete women’s energy, which feels destructive, but it’s not malicious. Dealing with unconscious lower masculine energetics as a woman is different than a strategy to deal with destroyer energetics. This is nuanced and women may reach out to me privately with their individual situations and questions, which I can answer in private mentorships or in my membership.

A man operating in lower masculine is operating in taker energetics – yes, somewhat, but more because he hasn’t resolved the Mother Wound than anything else. This man is not overtaken by the dark of the Destroyer.

What it looks like when the Destroyer overtakes a man is when a man is in an ego-identification (unconscious) and something within his unresolved ego personality gets triggered. He gets angry about it, maybe has a defensive tendency. Maybe someone in his life asked him to take accountability for something he’s not ready to look at. And instead of allowing himself to see this as an opportunity for his own integration and advancement, he actually attacks the person or system that is trying to get him to look at himself. It’s like a little devil destroyer energy close by says, “Look, he’s susceptible to taking on our energy. Let’s infiltrate.” Or, the man is overtaken by greed, the quest for power, the willingness to destroy the feminine, to dominate to preserve the ego, and the like. A primary doorway for the Destroyer to get into men is also through their avoidant addictions. This leaves his energy body open and susceptible to dark attack.

Can the Destroyer also enter into women or any human? Yes.

Is the Destroyer the equivalent of man or even lower masculinity? No. But it is the equivalent of patriarchy, by definition of patriarchy being a system that perpetually attempts to establish dominion.

Just because a man is unconscious does not make him a destroyer. Women would do well to distinguish this, because you do not need to have so much fear. When we understand these nuances, we can not fear the blanket “masculine” and discern where to draw boundaries, where to support, where to stay in our lane. There are plenty of ways for women to relate to both lower masculine and the destroyer energetic that set them free instead of lock them into these energetics as truth. These do not have to be energetics that you even associate with, except to know your sovereign stance in reference to it.

Lastly, let’s define, for consideration, two more terms:

Conscious Masculinity: The decision to turn the inherited patterns from patriarchy and unconscious/lower masculine into conscious masculine behaviors. This requires much inner excavation and soul reclamation. It requires commitment on the part of men to look at where they sink down low into destroyer or lower masculine tendencies for attention, love, to secure resources, etc. It requires leadership to forge a new paradigm of masculinity that can be trusted and emulated into the future. And, yes, all humans are responsible for their own inner aspect of conscious masculinity. As a cis-gendered woman, I too am responsible for excavating my own inner masculine and continually bringing forth conscious masculine patterns through my actions as well.

Sacred Masculine: This is a very misused term, in my opinion, because many want to apply this to men themselves. The Sacred Masculine is the perfection of the Holy Masculine – the Yang, the Shiva, the Holy Father of Creation. These are pristine energetics that we can reference through archetypes. No doubt, these archetypal templates are activating guides on our path as humans. And, while humans are of course sacred, humans are not archetypes of the sacred. To me, the Archetype of the Holy Father (I’m not referencing religion, but rather the Father of Creation) is pure perfection, and I wouldn’t expect any one person or man to embody it fully. Not as modern day humans with so much confusion and distortion – it’s impossible to be a perfected archetype. And, that’s not the point. The point is to reference the supreme Sacred Masculine archetype as guidance, to invite this template to be an activation in the psyche, and to quest toward integrating the shadow and ego personality toward the sacred expression of masculinity.

I don’t expect men to be perfect emanations of the sacred masculine. I do expect men to become conscious of lower masculine, integrate and heal their Mother Wounding, be as conscious as possible, and not only do I expect men to not perpetuate the Destroyer energetic, I expect men to help set it straight as they embody their warrior nature in preservation and protection of all that is innocent, and that which has been oppressed.

And I expect men to disarm the Destroyer alongside conscious women, if not more so. When men recognize the destroyer for what it is and rise into conscious masculinity, the destroyer will be far less powerful and systems of oppression will lose quite a bit of power.

There is sacred, holy power in masculinity. It should not be cut down, diminished, or lumped with the destroyer.

How a woman heals her relationship to the masculine.

Healing the relationship with the inner & divine masculine is the foundation of our own inner safety, provision, space holding, and discernment.

Last weekend, while hiking in the very cold woods with my pup, I listened to an interview I did with Artemis Rose for her Embody U Podcast. She asked me to come on her show and talk about how a woman heals her relationship to the masculine.

I actually really love this topic. As she says, it’s not talked about enough. But, I do think that it is some of the most crucial work a woman will ever do on herself.

Women often want something from men and judge men for not being able to give it to them.

Or, we spend a lot of time and energy looking for a man that embodies certain characteristics.

No doubt, we are doing what’s called “projecting” our inner, unmet needs of the masculine onto men. It’s very common to do that in our culture, especially as women have been oppressed as a gender for a long time. In the psyches of women, we are very hungry to know and be in relationship with the “sacred masculine.” But what does that mean?

It starts within.

Listen to the episode HERE. This is an important transmission.

Artemis writes, “In today’s episode, Sarah dives deep into a discussion around healing our relationship with the masculine (our own inner masculine, men, and our relationship with God).

How do all of these relate to embodying who we truly are? How does this relate to the feminine? You must listen. She does a beautiful job of simplifying, defining, and articulating how our sacred remembrance rests on the Truth of us diving deep within to reclaim both the sacred feminine and masculine for our own homecoming and inner union.

However, in this episode, she focuses on how important it is to see our relationship with God and our inner masculine as being the foundation and sustenance of our own inner safety, provision, space holding, and discernment.”

To access the Modern Women’s Pathway to Feminine / Masculine Reunification, CLICK HERE.

Devotion + CoCreation = Receptivity

Long ago, women learned to be productive. We learned to hustle. We learned that our perceived value was tied to how much we got done. And, we learned that we’d have to carry a really big load, and so it was just best to get used to it.

Women often have a difficult time taking time for themselves, or resting, or they end of feeling guilty about choosing to stop when there are still things on the to-do list. Every woman knows this feeling.

A few years ago, I started a “soul-aligned” business. Meaning it is a business of calling, of purpose. In such a business, there is a lot of emotional learning and learning about oneself. You can’t, of course, live your purpose and not have to stand in some fire in preparation for what you’re called to do.

I have spent a lot of time observing the energetics of healthy feminine flow and the masculine action in life and business. I have taught a lot of women about how to redefine and balance these archetypes in their lives. We need both – we can’t just sit around and flow all day, or we wouldn’t actually have a business at all. And, women I see in my practice want to lead their lives and businesses with a healthy masculine, replacing the old, outdated patriarchal hustle.

This is a great idea, but it is hard to do.

I’ve been hearing a lot of women, myself included, redefining “productivity” lately. I like this solution. There’s both healthy and unhealthy aspects to productivity.

I like feeling productive. I like crossing things off the to-do list. I know about my business that if I leave energetics messy – such as not sending invoices or typing clients notes, hence making myself overwhelmed – that the business doesn’t run and money doesn’t come in. So it’s not possible to abandon “doing” altogether, nor do I think any of us really want to. Even if we’re reclaiming the feminine archetype and the inherent right we have to slow down and rest when it’s called for, we don’t want to abandon action.

It’s the quality of the action, the “doing,” that I want to encourage us to look at. This is what I’ve been contemplating lately.

In 2022, a group of us started Structure & Flow, and this energy optimization system asks you to pick words that anchor you to your desire. These words symbolize what you’re focusing on and how you want to feel. These are the “why” for any action we take, so that we are taking aligned action.

My words are devotional, co-creative, receptive.

Essentially, what I want to do daily is to maintain a devotional practice. Inside of that devotional practice, I get insights, excitement, clarity, and motivation. (That’s the feminine, by the way – taking the time to pause and listen.) Devotion often also involves movement for me in an embodied feminine practice. Going to the yoga mat, improvisational dance, candles and sensuality, taking a hike, or being on my meditation cushion. I intend for devotion to be a feminine practice. This is where I am being the muse, opening to hearing the divine, the sacred, the intuition, the soul.

If I create that devotional space, the sacred will meet me there.

And then, from there, I will have insight.

And then I can “do” something with it, which is what I call “co-creation.” If I take action because I get an idea into my little head and then work to make it happen, I am in productivity for productivity’s sake. If I listen to the wisdom that comes from devotional practice, my action becomes co-creation, a much higher quality action.

As an entrepreneur, I have to take action. I actually love action and structure – both inherently masculine qualities. But through trial and error, I know that if I’m in the energy of productivity without devotion, I’m not actually making money. I’ll say that again. If I am in an energetic of “I just have to get this done” productivity, I don’t make money, no matter how much effort I put behind it.

And I know why that is. When the masculine takes action without consulting the feminine, as it did throughout patriarchy, the result is depletion – of the feminine, of resources, of options. Working without the feminine, or overriding the feminine, breeds more separation, and my business is just not allowed to generate income via productivity and hustle without the mutual energetics of healthy feminine/masculine integration. When the two are working in tandem, healthy energetics regenerate, including money.

If I co-create through devotional practices, I do receive flow in my business, such as new clients and money. Things happen. I don’t have to worry. For example, people book consults out of the blue just when I have space. If I listen to the divine guidance, my life is moving forward in regenerative energetics (something I talked a lot about in 2021 on the Sacred Remembering Podcast and will talk about more again as I teach about prosperity in the Heartland.)

So receptivity is the result of first devotion, then co-creation.

No more acquiring resources through hustle. No more producing just to get paid. No more exchanging energy for perceived value. No more working tirelessly (producing) in order to secure less than what brings me joy. No more “doing” without satisfaction.

The feminine is innately receptive. But “she” needs some sort of partnership with the masculine and this exchange needs to be healthy in order for her to begin to receive in new ways – i.e. without exhausting herself with productivity. We haven’t had healthy exchanges between feminine and masculine as our cultural norms, and so, we are establishing them now in our modern world.

Journal on it:

Where are you in the energetic of hustle or productivity without divine guidance?
What does feminine devotion look like to you?
How are you leading your life according to what you know is best for you instead of responding to what you have to do?
What is your relationship with your inner masculine? Does “he” push you to hustle, or does it respect your flow also? Is it strong and devoted also, or does it lie around lazily or struggle to set structure and follow through? How does your inner masculine support you?