Tag: masculine feminine union

The “other” dominator.

What is that invisible force that takes and depletes feminine life force? When it comes through men, it can be a dominator masculine, or something else, a bit harder to detect but familiar nonetheless.

We are in a time of trying to figure out what healthy feminine and masculine energies look like, what dominator culture is and is not, and how to heal the rift between men and women. 

Well, at least I hope we’re trying to heal. I do believe that we can absolutely rehabilitate and heal  our human family and the spaces between men and women, and by writing things so plainly as I am here, my intention is to provide understanding in order to provide pathways for healing.

Many women, as we wake up to “patriarchy” having taken something from us, in turn have adverse reactions toward men and masculine. 

Are men patriarchal? 

Are men dominators? 

Is masculinity synonymous with patriarchy? 

Is masculinity and “domination” the same thing? 

And so on. 

I think it’s important to consciously pull apart our assumptions about all of the above. 

“Man” is not “dominator”

In this post, I am not going to thoroughly go through what “man” and “masculine” are, as I do that elsewhere and it’s not the exact point of today’s post. The point of this post is to say that while we are aware of “dominator culture,” there is another force that I’m not seeing anyone really talk about, which is taking from the feminine just as much (if not more?) than domination. 

I will say that there are most certainly “conscious” and “unconscious” aspects of “masculine” as an archetype, as well as “masculinity” as an expression of the masculine archetype. Today’s masculinity does not truly represent conscious expression of the masculine archetype, something that culture would be very well served to investigate. 

When I refer to “masculine” I am referring to the archetypal masculine, not the existing cultural expression of masculinity. 

When we think of “masculinity” as the cultural expression, that is where we start to get confused about whether masculinity is synonymous with “domination” or dominator culture. 

Men and unconscious masculine archetypal expression have been used as pawns in a dominator culture, but this is not one and the same with the potential or archetypal expression of the conscious masculine, or conscious masculinity. 

Domination is a power play, it directly takes energy, and is a negative force. Many men over time have acted out domination over women, but that does not make all men dominators. Many men are specifically trying very hard not to be dominators. 

The “other” dominator.

Many men are even attempting to step away from cultural associations with “masculinity” because of the association with “domination.” For example, a man may decide to never show any rise in emotion or anger for fear that he may appear to someone as dominating. In this way, when a man cuts himself off from the full scope of his expression, he also is not embracing a fully conscious masculine archetype. Because in this example, a conscious masculine would seek appropriate outlets for big energy to move, such as swinging an ax in the woods and building something, working out really hard, or going to a men’s circle where full expression is safe. So we don’t want to cut off healthy expressions of masculine energy for fear of slipping into domination. 

Thanks, men, for trying to avoid domination. But I’ve got to tell you, there is something nearly just as bad that is happening all the time. 

This prolific element that I have noticed in our culture, especially in men trying hard not to be dominators, is when shadow-masculine becomes a “siphoning force” rather than a “dominating force.” 

I see this in these same men who have denounced domination, yet still are lost as to what a healthy relationship with the feminine looks like, and they are looking to satiate their feminine longing, as well as prove their softness, as well as (unconsciously) seek feminine nurturance via a woman. 

Siphoning forces are nearly as bad as dominator forces. They are prolific, they deplete women, and they are sometimes harder to name. 

Hence, I’m naming it. 

Siphoning forces play out in some of the following behaviors from men: 

  • A man wants to have sex with a woman without fully committing to her.
  • Polyamory and other excuses for men to have sex with multiple women. 
  • Men seeking to prove their self worth by being “good.” In this case he is trying so hard to not be a dominator that he is weakening his masculinity and looking for reassurance that he is good.
  • A man who deeply seeks the love of Mother and looks for it in partners. (See resources for the Mother Wound here.)
  • Men with unresolved wounds from ex spouses, mothers of their children, or their own mother who want to, again, prove they are good and have that proven from their current partners.
  • Men who are unable to structure a relationship with a woman and want to come in and out of her life, home, and body. 
  • Men who are saying, “Look, I’m providing, now please give me what I want.” 
  • Men who are performing for her love, attention, sex. 

In each of these examples (or variations of them you can relate to), there is an invisible siphoning force. In every one of the examples, what the man is unconsciously trying to “get to” is deep feminine energy, or Mothering energy, or said differently, The Mother. As in, a deep unconscious longing for a relationship with the Eternal Mother or Divine Feminine. 

The what? 

Exactly. The very fact that we don’t really have a cultural place or words for this within “patriarchy” is a huge contributing factor to the problem. We don’t even know what we’re missing. 

Women can’t explain why they’re tired after sex or why they just aren’t turned on by their nice-guy husband – it’s because relating to him is actually leaking life force. 

Nearly every woman (and man) can tell you the experience of a man needing her to “mother him” and how off-putting that eventually becomes. The impact of a man seeking this energy via a woman is a net loss in her life force. 

Why? Because he is taking something invisible. That’s why I’m using the word “siphoning.” 

Moving beyond unintentional feminine siphoning.

So what does it look like when a consciously masculine MAN moves beyond this? When a man is NOT siphoning off her feminine life force and essence, what does that look like? 

This is the good part.

  • When he enters her body, he is doing it in service to her. 
  • He has a sense of his God-connection. When he enters her body or her life, he is in service to bringing that God-consciousness to her. 
  • He is aware that when he shows up in this way, he amplifies the feminine. He actually receives MORE feminine essence, not via siphoning, but via enjoyment, getting to bask in her expression, getting to experience the fullness of the true feminine essence. 
  • He is aware that it is via his Source/God connection and expression that the feminine is able to create more life. So he is in service to feminine creation. 
  • He is aware that when he “seeds” a woman – with an idea, with his attention, with his sperm – that he is bringing forward a God-force into her. Therefore he does it with his heart’s intention, his consciousness, and his full responsibility. 
  • He is in full service to the feminine. He is not a doormat. He is in right-relationship with the feminine aspect of God/Creation and he serves that. He knows that he is a human vessel in service to Creation via the feminine on earth. More than just trying to avoid being a dominator himself, he actually works to serve the rehabilitation of the feminine on the planet in a post-dominator society. 
  • He is aware of all of these things whether or not he is actively in relationship, as a leader, as a member of society – all the time. 

This is a deep inner journey for men and requires men to go beyond just denouncing patriarchal domination and other “nice guy” strategies. The “nice guy” can actually be quite dangerous to the feminine and to women in his docile nature that does not enable him to actually run the frequency of Masculine Consciousness through himself, therefore further depleting the feminine on the planet. 

As a starter, men, imagine the force of the Sun coursing through you. Imagine that YOU ARE light, and that this light is consciousness itself. Then ask yourself what this Consciousness would be in service to. Why does the light or the sun shine, warm, and radiate light on the planet? In order to seed Life, of course. 

That is what you are. Thank you for your continued dedication to your journey of embodied masculinity and rightful partnership with the conscious feminine on the planet. 

Private coaching is available for men & couples as well as women. It is my honor to be of service as we all heal patterns of separation and live in more love!

Energy architecture & the source of longing.

The consciousness of what we are doing in our awakening on the planet at this time is remembering that there is a greater field, a greater system of architecture and alignment that our soul was always intended to be a part of.

When we are connected to the One Source God Source, the all that is, it’s not an idea, it is an energetic architecture, a patterning that encompasses Life.

There are many many distortions in this patterning. Many things that we call social structures or cultural dynamics, like patriarchy and misogyny, narcissism, but what these things actually are are like glitches in the field. Like a bad “program.” Another way to say that would be to say a “fallen architecture.” 

When we obey or align ourselves to the fallen architecture and to the fallen systems, because almost all the time we think that this is reality itself, we then feel our traumas and memories and what we know as humans, we get confused about what reality is. And so a lot of the time these fallen/false templates are default modes of operation, rather than our own awakened consciousness, which you can imagine serves someone else’s agenda – not your own. And the energy that you relentlessly give, trying to “improve” your conditions within a fallen architecture are actually rerouted to serve negative agendas. Your energy is used against Life rather than for it.

The consciousness of what we are doing in our awakening on the planet at this time is remembering that there is a greater field, a greater system of architecture and alignment that our soul was always intended to be a part of. 

We were all designed to connect right into the architecture of the pure consciousness of Source and of the Earth and the healthy grids in the earth. You can look at it like a sacred geometry. And it is these fallen templates that have broken humans from the architecture – an actual energetic break has occurred – and there is immense opportunity now to realign, reconfigure, and actually re-energize our template or blueprint. 

So what does this look like? Yes, it looks like trauma healing, getting free of patterns, boundaries, knowing where our resources go, etc etc but it is also developing practices where you are actually practicing the new energetics and restoring the architecture of Source within You. You have to erect the fallen architecture. It’s the very crux of what we are doing on this planet.

We yearn to be a part of creation. We yearn to know the divine and heal depletion – and this is how we do it.

You have to practice the energetics that you do not see around you in the 3D, but you trust to exist because your Soul longs not only to know God, but to know your connection with the living frequencies of God, which is possible.

It’s like you’re saying, “Okay I know that there is all this fallen architecture and falsehood, and I am going to spend time every single day practicing what is actually true, and what I actually want to cultivate.” You get yourself free in this way. This connection that is inherently regenerative, inherently life-giving, and it is within that sacred connection to the Christos Sophia, to the earth grids, to Source, and “clicking” back into the architecture that was always designed to be whole. 

On my journey, I say that I have been healing and reuniting feminine and masculine on all levels. Let’s look at what that has to do with this. The human mind has a lot to grasp as we exit patriarchy and have to rewrite this patterns, these stories, about who has power and who doesn’t, and who has access to resources, who provides, who creates, etc which continues to reinforce a false-architecture and false-grid under our lives and under the earth as we repeat those stories. 

To spend time every single day realigning to that which is inherently the structure of the earth that we always dream of and want to live on, and there’s all these methodologies for navigating walking as a human on the planet, but humans are still suffering and I think that this is because we are not actually reconnecting to the Source connection and grid connection and circulating the new, vibrant, regenerative frequencies that are available to us. Everyday spirituality doesn’t get at this. 

We can bring the integrity of this divine architecture back to our lives. These are not just ideas, this is an energy system. So feminine and masculine becomes a dance with Creation, because all of life is the Christos Sophia, the masculine & feminine energies, and that all organization comes from this dance. Sophia is the creational space and sound, and the Christos being the light consciousness and when they come together they create the third thing – creating a trinity. The trinity frequency is inherently regenerative. 

We need to stop trying to heal our suffering without changing the structure of consciousness that we are operating in. Most of us do not see the bridge. It is through the reunification of that which creates and structures the Architecture of Living Life.

So when I am talking to women about the Heartland, I am talking about this journey where we are replacing the old template and connecting into Place (positive earth grids), the Heart, and new frequencies. We do this via connections in Nature, allowing yourself to journey into a multidimensional experience that is a combination of this world and what is not of this physical world (but where this world could go as humans anchor this architecture), allowing the “regenerative feminine” frequencies to work through our being, clearing the holographic field, and imagining a new reality for the feminine (and all life), and in doing so, we bring the New Earth, the new world, closer together. We’re bringing the future closer. 

We go to the Heartland and say, “This is more real than anything that I have been experiencing in these fallen templates, and I don’t choose these false things like depletion and scarcity anymore.” You might still have residual trauma, or get triggered, or still have money issues, because humanity is complex, and, we simultaneously choose to cultivate a practice to experience a New Earth regenerative feminine frequency, continually. We are going to be on this path, with ever-better results and experiences, for the rest of our lives and then some. Because we are talking about planetary evolution, and each of us is an integral part of that. It’s why we are here.

This is the invitation. To receive the Heartland codes, to practice them, and to allow them to change your life, just like you would practice anything else. Also, in being in these new frequencies, we clear much of the old density of the other realms because we have just realized a higher frequency and lower density problems can not continue to exist in these spaces. It requires diligence and devotion to discover and hold a new frequency. But doesn’t it sound worth it? 

Heartland 2023 begins September 13, 2023.