Fierceness is required: embracing strength through love.

Also, simultaneously a few weeks ago, my friend Lisa sent me a picture in a text message and let me know that she felt guided to set up a place for me on her prayer altar. In the center of this prayer altar was a picture of me.

Journal Prompts to consider before, during, or after reading this blog:

  • Where in your life are you feeling like you need to fight for something? Is it exhausting or energizing you?
  • What is the difference, for you, between sacred fierceness and fighting?
  • How do these two feel different in your body? In your breath?
  • How do you want to embody your sacred fierceness more in your life right now?

A few weeks ago, I was talking to my friend Betsy and I said, “Betsy, I do not want to have to be the warrior anymore.”

You can hear the exhaustion in that statement.

Well, I believe, because I experience, that there is always a divine dance of Creation going on. A sacred unfolding.

In that statement of mine, there was exhaustion, but there was also a little stuckness. I had tired of being a warrior along the way….

Also, simultaneously a few weeks ago, my friend Lisa sent me a picture in a text message and let me know that she felt guided to set up a place for me on her prayer altar. I was surprised because we hadn’t talked about an exact thing that would have prompted this, but I wasn’t surprised because I know that Lisa is always listening to the divine and if she felt to do it, there was a reason why.

Lisa is a friend that continually makes magic and I truly love to notice and weave the Mystery with her.

In the center of this prayer altar was a picture of me. The layout of everything on the altar was astonishingly beautiful and thoughtful, but the picture surprised me because it was an old photo that I’d had on the back of my first business cards. She’s had this for years.

The photo, I realized in that moment but also more deeply throughout the next few weeks (that’s what I mean by “weaving”), was historically very significant to me because it was the first time that I “saw myself.”

I had gone in for professional headshots, and the photographer nudged me to take off my sweater and do a few shots in my flimsy old tank top, that truly I felt at home in.

The photo, when I saw it, still a school principal at that time, was strength. It was me. It was the me, underneath, that I felt but that I didn’t always know how to express, and here it was embodied.

And then, that was the photo that showed up from Lisa. A reminder.

And then I said, “Betsy, I don’t want to have to be the warrior anymore.”

Well, then a few weeks went by, things happened, and I did an 11 day spiritual practice that truly helped to regain so much life force, and then as I cleared energy, of course this affected things in outer relationships (as it always goes.)

And as I was witnessing an old pattern arising related to men & masculine, I noticed I felt different. I told Betsy, “I felt fear for a minute, but then I felt strength.”

The strength was different. It wasn’t a fighting strength. Younger-me had a lot of fighting strength, and then that was lost, or rather, let go. I grew tired of always being resilient. But (and I’ve written about this elsewhere), that was okay. Because fighting strength requires the nervous system, and one day that will tap out. True strength and resiliency comes from a different place. Turns out I’ve been cultivating it for some time, but am just realizing it.

Last year, I went deep deep down into the space of my own heart. I got so familiar with the aches and beauty, and I came to know love differently.

As it turns out, from that place is also where strength returns.

I was sitting in prayer this morning, and I asked, “Divine Shekhinah, what do I need to know right now?”

And in dropped the message, “The Sacred Warrior in you is a part of your divinity. It is sacred. Feel it now.”

And I sat with that message, the frequency of the Sacred Warrior, with the picture from years ago, the realization that Lisa had helped to evoke this via her prayer altar, and a part of me consciously returned.

Fierceness is required. Sacred Fierceness and the Warrior come through the space of the Heart, and can be trusted. Some things are worth standing for, worth being fierce over.

My path requires fierceness. I am here to disrupt common narratives and repattern aspects of patriarchy. I am here to introduce new information and tell stories. To be me and live my purpose requires the Sacred Warrior.

I am grateful to re-incorporate this, to walk in integrity with this divine energy, to the weaving, to the Mystery, to true sacred sisters Betsy, Lisa and more. I am grateful to look, once again, at this picture and see a true essence, and welcome it.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”

Photo credit https://www.heatherhamborphotography.com/

The Masculine As Consciousness & the Effects of Psychedelics

I am saying that I personally can not feel, in my woman body, an energetic response to your vastness, because I am vastness, and you are not giving me the consciousness needed to electrify my vastness.

When I, as a woman, think of the masculine as consciousness, I soften in my front body. I trust that if the masculine is consciousness, there is an energetic penetration that allows for my feminine to open. 

Do we agree that the feminine is vastness? Openness? It’s okay if we don’t agree, though I’ll continue from this premise. 

When I have a relationship with the masculine as light (an expression of consciousness), I feel a trust that life is organized. It is an energetic response. My openness can organize in response to this light. 

When I have a trust for masculine as consciousness and light, the natural expression of this is penetration, and there is no guarding, no protective response in me. There is only trust, softening, organization of my openness. I am attracted toward the penetration of this essence of masculine. Energetically, this is the only response of the feminine to true masculine essence. 

Now, let’s look at men and psychedelics, because brothers, I’m concerned about things I see. 

Psychedelics open your mind. They awaken you. Fabulous, if you choose it as a tool, so be it. Yet I am concerned about the perpetual openness of the consciousness that often results. An openness, a spiritual vastness that some would say is terrific. But is it? Of course open your mind to the inner workings of the All That Is, but if you exude the quality of openness rather perpetually, then where is your penetrative consciousness? 

When I find myself in front of a very spiritual man who spends a lot of time on psychedelics, my feminine does not open toward it. Because it can’t. There is no natural inclination to open in this case. 

You know what I find to be a lot hotter? Kundalini yoga. It creates a sharpness in the consciousness and in the aura that is… you guessed it…. Penetrative. Reliable. Trustworthy. 

Am I saying openness and feminine are not trustworthy? No. 

Am I shaming men for being feminine? No. 

I am saying that I personally can not feel, in my woman body, an energetic response to your vastness, because I am vastness, and you are not giving me the consciousness needed to electrify my vastness. You have to electrify, to penetrate with embodied God Consciousness, to be poignant in order to invite the true feminine respond to your masculine energy. 

There is a difference, energetically, between perpetually open men with endless ideas and men who apply insights to activated consciousness in order to enact more structure, more influence, more impact on this planet.

If you touch God Consciousness while on psychedelics, how do you apply that to the organization of your life? How do you apply this consciousness to new organized structures on the planet? How do you become so embodied, so reliable in these structures that the feminine trusts you more? These are the questions I’d pose. 

How do you integrate the openness found in psychedelics into the wholeness of embodied masculinity? If this is what you choose. But you’ll find that women respond much better to you when your consciousness is sharp. 

If you feel more open than a woman’s own feminine, then she can not respond to your energy and she can not trust you. 

Tell me, men, how do you practice embodying your divinity?